Sunday, August 9, 2009

How NOT to win my heart and earn my attention

The following is correspndence between a supposedly submissive male on and me.

Asshole on 8/7/09 at 7:17 PM:

Hello Mistress, I have been on this site for a short while and have never met anyone yet. Most all want money. One wanted to film me for her own viewing but wanted me to sign a waver. Uh huh. I am writting because you sounded open, honest, and willing to give and take. Some things you are interested in and some things I am. I also look for things that I would like to explore like queening. I look at photo's on the internet and I would like to try it full body weight. As your actual chair. Could I really breath? Won't know till I try. I also think about actually drinking pee. Don't know if you are open to this or not. I am 43, in good shape, and would like to chat with you over a drink or cup of coffee if you are interested. I am on the South side of town. Let me know.

MistressLilyana on 8/9/09 at 10:11 AM:
Just reading your profile, it doesn't appear you're looking for the same thing I am - something that has the possibility of evolving into a LTR. I did notice you talking about a friendship beyond D/s though so maybe I'm mistaken. Let me know what it is you're ultimately looking for. If it's just someone to explored BDSM without dating or other relationship, I'm probably not the one for you.

Asshole on 8/9/09 at 10:29 AM:
Maybe we're not. For me it would be give and take. Like I said in my first letter. I will do things for you and you some for me. I would be willing to take you places, shows, dinner, ball games, comedy clubs. Just have fun.
In return you use me as your furniture, worship your body, toilet for urine.
I do not do strap on, (I don't have a gay bone in my body) or clean your house which I saw you want done very much.
If you truly enjoy giving pain I might entertain that. I do not enjoy pain, doesn't do anything for me. But like I said this is give and take. It is up to you....

MistressLilyana on 8/9/09 at 10:55 AM:
It sounds like to me you have more of a need to satisfy your fetishes than you are truly sexually submissive. Perhaps you'll find someone who can satisfy those needs for you but I'm probably not that person. I'm looking for a man who is truly sexually submissive. Good luck in your search.

Asshole on 8/9/09 at 11:07 AM:
Your loss. I do quite well and enjoy the finer things in life. My favorite place to eat is at the top of the world. I personally prefer it over Steve Wynns. While I refuse to pay the "pro" doms, I have no problem treating women to very nice dinners and shows. Unfortunately all the doms I have ran into want to sit on their fat asses and get their housework done for free and fuck the guy in the ass with a strap on. I am a man. Not gay or a bitch. I can in turn be very submissive in other aspects and am more than willing to please and be used. Actually I think you just want a maid to do your housework. You tolerate foot worship? Hell,,I've had my feet licked, kissed and sucked. It feels fantastic. Why wouldn't a dom? Whatever. I have little time to worry about what you like or want. We're done.

This doesn't even warrant a response but I thought it would provide some amusement for my blog readers.


  1. It sounds like he is looking for a servant to fulfill two of his fantasies.

  2. WOW lolol ~ what a riot!!! i think i may start blogging my silly CM emails!!

  3. "I am a man. Not gay or a bitch."

    Wow, that's pretty defensive. Lame1

  4. First off, Miss Lilyana, Your assessment of this guy is spot on. I don't see any give-and-take in his writings. Not a submissive bone in his body. He should be on and get a normal girl who might fulfill his brand of kink.

    It would be an honor to be in Your presence and if that cost of that was cleaning Your abode, well that would be an example of give-and-take. Serving You coffee would be a great thrill to my humble self. Worshiping and pleasuring Your feet is the pinnacle of my existence.

    If i were this bloke, and wanted to say no to strap-on play, I would not try to profess my machoness. i would say that a gf tried to use a strap-on on me and it was both too big and i found that at that stage of our relationship i could not trust her to not do damage. Or i would try to touch Your heart with, "i appologize but i was date raped in my youth and the image pains me."

    BTW, i am at my most macho after i have shaved my body, splashed on oil and cologne, inserted a plug (in a wall socket??), and gone out shopping.

  5. I feel like I've started to be able to tell when a guy isn't submissive. Having some of the same kinks that submissives do does NOT make you submissive. It just means you're kinky.

    I'm glad y'all enjoyed it. I get some messages on collarme from idiots, although my profile tends to scare most idiots off. THIS though is quite unusual: an idiot out to offend me.

    Oh well. At least it's worth a giggle.

  6. This guy is typical of the many fakes and "wannabes" that I've encountered on Collarme. He obviously just wants to find a woman so he can "get off", rather than truly submitting and offering himself to you for your pleasure and enjoyment.

    If he is for real, then he is simply a guy who has kinks. So he should not pretend to be submissive nor seek a Dominant Woman when all he wants to do is find someone to engage in kinky play with and get himself off.

    Mistress Lilyana your replies and response to him were so very well put. He did not deserve to be treated with the dignity that you allowed him. But then again, that is what makes a Woman like you such a Goddess to begin with :)

  7. @kneelingb4you - Thanks for your kind words! I always treat everyone nicely, even when I have to tell them I'm not interested. Life is too short to be unnecessarily nasty. Unless they like it ;)