Tuesday, September 13, 2011

No gay hand job porn

Bon-bon had a Domme who was a psychologist by profession. I've yet to discover to what extent she played mind games with him but I did find out something last night that I wasn't happy about.

She used to make him watch gay porn, specifically gay oral and gay handjob porn. While he jacked off.

Bon-bon explains this to me as we're discussing forced bi.

"My former Domme loved the idea of me sucking some guys cock."

"Hehe of course she did. It's the ultimate humiliation AND it's guy on guy (if you're into that)."

"She'd always try to train me psychologically ... make me find you gay blow job and hand job videos ... used to make me watch them while she made me stroke my cock."

"Understand this: I don't want you to want to do it. Maybe she did but the hotness for me is that you do it to please me, not because you've been trained to enjoy the idea. She was training you to be aroused at the idea of guy on guy action. If you're aroused, it's no longer forced." 

"She was just trying her best to break me."

"Oh I understand where she was going with it, totally."

Not only do I understand it, I can see the allure. But the beautiful, exciting part about forced bi for me is not seeing two guys getting it on. That is not a huge turn on for me. It's that a man will set aside one of the things that he treasures most, his heterosexuality, to amuse and entertain me just because I ask.

As a huge fan and avid practitioner of erotic humiliation, I feel like forced bi is pretty much the ultimate in humiliation. Unless the guy LIKES it. Or WANTS it. And I'm not talking about enjoying it or desiring it because he loves/hates the humiliation aspect. Or because he wants to please his Domme. I'm talking about the kind of guy who is aroused by the act itself outside of the humiliation and service aspects.

The kind of guy his former Domme was trying to train him to become.

And while I understand the allure of this kind of psychological training, I don't want to do it. When a guy sucks cock for me, I want to bask in his humiliation. I want him to want to suck cock because it pleases and amuses me, not because he's been trained to crave the taste cock on his tongue.

Later in our very hot conversation ...

"I need to go to bed and jerk off. You have me ready to explode."

"No cumming. Touch yourself all you want but your next orgasm is mine and that means you wait."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good boy. I, on the other hand, may just go have a handful while I think about you aching to cum."

"Yes Ma'am. I'll watch some gay hand job porn ... LOL."

"NO. Absolutely not!! No gay hand job porn!"