Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Smart boys with waxed assholes

Two nights ago I had a conversation with babyboy that reminded me why I enjoy intelligent boys above all else. They are feisty. They are a challenge. And they are never boring.

Below is our IM chat history about the Brazilian I have planned for him.

Me: I wonder if you'll scream when the guy waxes you. Your asshole that is.
babyboy: the guy?
Me: The waxer. He's male.
babyboy: on come on, cant you have a woman do it?
Me: I suppose I could but he comes recommended.
babyboy: so?
Me: He does 10 - 15 male Brazilians a week The guy at the salon I called says he sends all his male Brazilians there. To this one guy.
babyboy: you want me on all 4s, while a guy puts wax on my ass and balls?
Me: Or whatever position he wants you in.
babyboy: youre so bad.
Me: You have no idea.
babyboy: that would be very fucking humiliating...
Me: Oh really? Would it? I had no idea.
babyboy: uh
Me: I can't wait!
Me: His name is Richard
Me: He was very nice over the phone.
babyboy: fucking a're mean ... cruel ... wonderful.

I tell him the name of the salon and where it's located.

babyboy: i know the place... i was staring at the sign, while i was running on the treadmill...
Me: Well there's a guy in there who is going to rip all the hair off your asshole and balls.
Me: I want you to think of 6 questions you can ask him about the procedure or aftercare that you can ask before the procedure.
babyboy: like what?
Me: LOL. It's YOUR assignment baby. You figure it out. I'll want to see them before we go. So you might want to write them down as you think of them.
babyboy: yes Miss, i imagine, youll be watching it.
Me: Of course I will. And listening to you ask 6 questions about it :D
babyboy: lol...
Me: At least I'm not telling you what to ask. However, if I don't find your own questions to be intelligent, I may replace them with my own.
babyboy: im going to be an attorney, i can come up with very benign questions... whats the temp of the wax, will it hurt, how long will it take to grow back, how long does the precedure take, whats your experience level, and whats your name.
Me: LOL. Maybe 10 questions would be better.
babyboy: how long have you lived in vegas, where did you go to beauty school at, do you get paid by the hr or commision, are tips allowed?
Me: LMAO. Damn. YOU are not playing fair.
babyboy: im good at this...
Me: But ok. I'll give you credit. Damn. A challenge. I love it.
babyboy: i can keep going.. come good stuff like that...i have lots of game.
Me: Clearly. What are 3 questions you could ask him that would humiliate you? Without doing so to him.
babyboy: wouldnt you be more suited to think of them? because i can pose questions, which could be humiliating but, really arent.
Me: It's hot when remind me you're intelligent, I must say. I want you so badly at my feet right now
babyboy: lol....thank you.
babyboy: im good at this stuff bread and butter.
Me: 3 questions that would honestly humiliate you and not him.
babyboy: should i cut and paste, what i just wrote...the point is a bit moot. dont you think?
Me: I'm asking you to be honest with me
babyboy: what would you like to you want me on all 4s sir, will you be bleaching my ass, too......if i get hard, will you be mad....
Me: Would that do it for you?
babyboy: my cock did just get alittle semi...

His last proposed question, "If I get hard, will you be mad?" was my favorite because it sounds SO submissive. 

babyboy: what would you do, if that actually happened? if I got hard?
Me: LMAO. What do you think?
babyboy: im sure you would fucking love it.
Me: I would

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My poly partners' other partners

Being poly, embracing polyamory, is still quite new to me so a lot of what I'm encountering as I sort through poly relationships with my partners is new.

What's new and even more unexpected is the fact that I'm sorting through the poly relationships my partners are having with others too.

During the short time I was with 9, we'd established that we were to be each other's primary partners and that we'd pursue other relationships outside that. These were to be primarily D/s relationships since we were both Dominant and topping each other was not an option.

9 decided to consider a femsub he'd previously dated and actually brought into the lifestyle years ago. We talked extensively about this. I urged him to be clear with her so that she understood what he wanted from her. I didn't want her to mistakenly think that there was a long term relationship in their future when he wanted her friendship and submission only.

I didn't want to be involved in direct communication with her. I just thought this was between them. Fairly quickly though I was sucked into being friends with her and I found it more pleasant than I anticipated. She did understand her "place" in things but still had lots of questions about how this poly relationship would work. I think the ease of which she was handling things surprised even her and was mostly because she liked me.

Had things worked out, I'm not sure where things would have gone with 9's sub and me. But after 9 walked away from me, her and the lifestyle altogether, 9's sub and I were left to scratch our heads and wonder what the fuck happened. Together.

In the week since the break up, we've grown quite close. As different as our relationships were with 9, there are similarities and it's weird but nice we can help each other through this. At the same time, it's distracted me somewhat from my own process of getting through the breakup.

In many ways, her attachment is so much stronger due to the past they shared. I diagnosed her early after they breakup as having an addiction to Man Crack, with 9 being her drug of choice. So I've spent a lot of time helping her through all of this much in the way you'd help a friend whose boyfriend dumped them. Only it was MY boyfriend who dumped her.

With another poly partner, I've spent some time coaching his prospective poly partner. I've answered questions and tried to give examples that might make sense.

He's already got a primary partner. I went into things with him knowing that wouldn't change, not even trying to seek a relationship with him and then being a little surprised to find myself in one.

I look at what we have now much like friends with benefits with a deeper connection. He won't ever be my primary partner. I'm not sad about this and am happy to enjoy him just as he is.

I suppose this was easier for me because I am polyamorous. For his other poly partner, it has not been.

As we've gotten to know each other, she and I have grown into a real friendship. We have a lot in common so it's been easy to enjoy getting to know each other. Still, I steered clear of talking to her about their relationship. I knew she had real concerns about engaging in a polyamorous relationship but I refrained from talking about her relationship with him, and my relationship with him, until she was ready.

When she did want to talk about it, I found it difficult to navigate the subject without stomping on the land mines. I tried not to use my relationship with him as an example and tried not to go into too much detail.
I tried to be a friend without meddling, but occasionally the craziness of what I was doing struck me and I almost had to laugh. I was helping a guy I adore get another girl. And I was helping that girl understand why she could and should be with that guy.

Compersion is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I am not his primary partner. I'm not setting rules. And she's not his submissive. My role is simply to be his friend. Now, I'm hers because of that. And the fact that I adore her.

Perhaps I'm lucky that in both situations, my poly partners' other partners are women I adore.
Maybe I should just chalk it up to the fact that I happen to choose men who have excellent taste in women.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The questions I ask boys

With the number of guys I screen, for the position of submissive as well as that of my boyfriend, you'd think I have a set of standard questions I ask. An interview process.

I do not.

I tend to let the get to know each other thing unfold naturally. Truth be told, I enjoy seeing what kind of initiative a guy will take in asking me things. It's often a good indicator of his level of interest in me. The types of questions he asks also tells me if he's interested in me for more than just sex and/or my Domme skills.

I do pepper the conversation with casual questions of my own. I ask about their family, in particular about their nieces and nephews and how close they are with them. I ask them to tell me about their best friend. And from these types of questions I can learn how much (or little) he values relationships.

There are others I ask that help me determine if our likes/dislikes might mesh well. They're probably the same questions asked all over the world in various languages by people trying to get to know one another.

My current favorite question to ask is "What kind of porn do you watch?"

Let's face it. Everyone watches porn. But the style of porn that you choose is very telling.

I recently asked this of a guy I grew up with and reconnected with a few years ago. He knows I'm Dominant. He's one of three people I grew up with that know. I've suspected that beneath his tough guy exterior was a boy who was submissive in the bedroom even though he's never hinted at any submissive like fantasies. I suspected because I saw his interactions with his ex wife. I've also seen indications in his writing when he describes his ideal relationship.

This guy and I have known each other probably 27 years. We're closer now that we ever were before but it's almost familial.

So we're talking about porn one night and I ask this guy, this man who is like a brother to me, "What kind of porn do you watch?"

Without hesitation he answers, "CFNM and the ones where the guy gets taken while he's sleeping."

I burst out laughing. First, he has stunned me by using the term CFNM (clothed female nude male). Of course I know what it means but I dare say most men do not. Secondly, he has confirmed what I've suspected; that he's sexually submissive.

I told him this. He admitted it's probably true in a non-begrudging way. And now he calls me Mistress.

My old favorite question was "Describe your bed linens to me." I ask this question for a few reasons. First, it gives me an idea of how much they value the comfort of their bed. I also enjoy seeing how they describe their sheets. Do they know the thread count? Can they articulate the color better than simply blue or green? Lastly, I enjoy being able to picture them in their bed when I'm talking to them. Or tied to it anyway. Having a description of a boy's bed linens helps in this endeavor.

A few times I've be surprised with the answers. The 40-something cable guy with the black silk sheets, for instance.

I recently asked this of a local Dom friend of mine. "Blood red, 350 thread count, Italian cotton."

I was instantly wet. "That's hot." He knew his thread count, he described the color precisely. Hell he even knew where the cotton came from. Hotness.

"Silk is overrated. Rubber is too hot. Flannel is awesome. And a huge feather mattress and feather comforter."

Yum. I love it when a man cares about his bed. That means he'll care about taking care of me while I'm in it.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Show me that you love me. Or my blog.

Nominations are now open for the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2010. If you enjoy my blog, please go to this link and post a link to my blog in the comments. That nominates my blog for Sexiest Bloggers of 2010. And makes me feel loved.


9 broke things off this morning. He has reconnected with an ex girlfriend he still has feelings for and wants to pursue things with her. She's not poly or in the lifestyle so he feels he needs to walk away from me and the lifestyle in order to be with her.

To an extent, I understand this. I've recently reconnected with my FMT, the vanilla guy I dated off and on last year. I had intended to explore things with him even before 9 broke things off so I totally get that he feels the same. I wouldn't have ended things with 9 to do it, but I didn't have to. Having an open relationship allows you certain flexibilities like that.

But back to this morning.

I was stunned that less than a week after we declared ourselves in an open relationship 9 was breaking things off. Immediately after our conversation, one of my main thoughts was "I don't want to be alone right now." Some people need to be alone in times like this. I need people.

I knew my FMT wasn't working. I called him up and asked him if I could spend the day with him. He agreed.

It was a dangerous idea. It was reckless and I knew it and I went there anyway. When we were together our chemistry was epic and I correctly assumed it hadn't diminished sufficiently in the five months we've been apart so of course we ended up in bed.

But alas, this blog is NOT about hot reunion sex with my FMT. It's about horoscopes.

I hadn't been there long when my FMT told me to check the newspaper for his horoscope.

"You're not going to believe what it said," he told me.

I fumbled through the paper until I found it:
Don't be surprised if a close friend expects both moral and material support from you because clearly owe him/her that much. Do what you can on his/her behalf.
I looked up and him with big eyes, "Oh my God." Then I laughed, "YES you totally DO owe me!"

"Yes, I know," my FMT admitted. Part of the reason he wanted to reconnect with me was to apologize for the way he treated me while we together, in particular, for our break up.

Then I joked, "Damn I should be asking you for money too!"

Then I found mine:
Finding time to spend with someone you've been yearning to see might unexpectedly open up for you. However, you might still have to make some fancy excuses to take advantage of it.

"Holy shit that's creepy!" We both laughed.

"YEARNING to see, Lilyana? Have you been YEARNING to see me?" my FMT joked, never missing an opportunity to harass me.

"Oh whatever," I tried to laugh it off. Then only slightly more seriously, "You already knew I wanted to see you."

It appears the stars were aligned perfectly for my FMT and I to spend time together today. On the heels of a break up with 9, one might even go so far as to say it's some kind of sign my FMT and I should be together.


I'm grateful we've reconnected. I'm grateful he was there for me today as a friend. I'm super grateful for the hot reunion sex.

What does the future hold for my FMT and me? We've settled on a FWB (friends with benefits) relationship. It's worked for us before. But will it work for us again? Only the stars know.

And don't think I won't be checking my horoscope every day

Monday, June 14, 2010

Sex with a sadist

9 enjoys nibbling. Actually, he enjoys biting, but he knows better than to REALLY bite me.

Still, he gets a bit carried away with it occasionally and provokes an audible response from me. Yes, I can admit it. 9 makes me squeal sometimes.

He seems to enjoy making me squeal. Relishes it. My squeals make him chuckle. My squeals make his cock hard.

I don’t know why this surprises me. I really don’t. I should know better. He's a Dom, I'm a Domme and really, what else makes me hotter than making a sub gasp, moan, squeal or even scream?

No, I’m not submitting to 9. I’m not even bottoming. In fact, we steer clear of D/s play altogether. Or as much as two skilled Dominants can,  I suppose. Even as careful as we are to avoid trying to avoid topping each other, elements of our Dominance seep into our vanilla sex. I chronicled my own in my blog, Using my skills. 9 jokes a lot about topping me but his biting is the first real evidence I’ve noted that indicates there are elements of his Dominance he may be unable to contain while he’s with me.

Like me (probably more so), 9 is hardwired to be sadist; to enjoy someone else's pain, particularly pain he inflicts on others. It’s the fact that he’s enjoying MINE that is surprising to me, I suppose. I’m used to being the one relishing my partner’s reaction to pain.