Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The repulsive things that make your cock hard

People tell me their wildest fantasies. They also tell me all about the crazy, naughty, twisted things they've done.

Did you know most straight men have tranny fantasies? Know how I know? They tell me.

I know a guy whose Domme made him masturbate farm animals. And a female sub whose Domme made her submit to a dog. Yes, it was truly doggie style.

I could go on but you get the picture. People do some crazy, sick shit and they tell me about it.

What is it about me that makes people want to tell me things? Well, I am open minded and I don't judge.

Except when it comes to children. I want to hurt child molesters in not fun ways. That's not even an acceptable fantasy in my book.

But other than anything involving children, I don't judge. Does it mean I am going to encourage my sub to have close personal relations with animals? Hell no.

Might have a straight male sub jerk off a tranny though.


Ok not really.

But my point is, people tell me crazy shit because they know I won't judge them.

Recently someone I'm close to told me he'd done something very very naughty.
"Lilyana, it's SICK and yet as I'm sitting here talking to you about it, I'm ROCK HARD."

He's been in the lifestyle a long, long time. And like anyone who is kinky, he's upped the ante over time. He's progressively gotten kinkier.

I think we all do that. We kinksters love the high we get from our naughty play. And we're always seeking the next biggest thing - the next big high. So we try new things. And usually each new thing is naughtier than the last.

A lot of times the naughty things are taboo. And sometimes the fact that it's taboo is more of a turn on than the act itself.

I REALLY enjoy getting into someone's head and discovering what turns then on and why. I've learned to poke around in a submissive's brain and figure out their trigger points so I can use them to bend him to my will.

So I used my working knowledge of sexual deviant psychology to help my friend. He was VERY perplexed at how he could be aroused by talking about something so repulsive.

"It's very taboo," I reminded him. "You're kinky. You're turned on by things that most normal people find taboo."

"But the idea of it, Lilyana, it's not hot, it's sick. So why am I hard just telling you about it?"

I explained that it wasn't what had happened that was arousing to him. It was the fact that what had occurred was so taboo - THAT is why his cock was hard.

As soon as I said it, he knew it was true and he felt better about it.

We can't control what arouses us and sometimes what arouses us is something that also repulses us. This was the case for my friend.

What we CAN control is whether or not we act on what arouses us. We are not slaves to our horniess (although sometimes it might seem that way).

I think now that my friend knows WHY he was aroused - because the act was taboo, not because the act itself was hot - he can move on to something else he doesn't also find quite so distasteful. He can move on to another kinky high.

As a true friend compelled to help him, perhaps I should do something that will distract him - to get his mind off of things.

Tranny handjob maybe?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

No gay hand job porn

Bon-bon had a Domme who was a psychologist by profession. I've yet to discover to what extent she played mind games with him but I did find out something last night that I wasn't happy about.

She used to make him watch gay porn, specifically gay oral and gay handjob porn. While he jacked off.

Bon-bon explains this to me as we're discussing forced bi.

"My former Domme loved the idea of me sucking some guys cock."

"Hehe of course she did. It's the ultimate humiliation AND it's guy on guy (if you're into that)."

"She'd always try to train me psychologically ... make me find you gay blow job and hand job videos ... used to make me watch them while she made me stroke my cock."

"Understand this: I don't want you to want to do it. Maybe she did but the hotness for me is that you do it to please me, not because you've been trained to enjoy the idea. She was training you to be aroused at the idea of guy on guy action. If you're aroused, it's no longer forced." 

"She was just trying her best to break me."

"Oh I understand where she was going with it, totally."

Not only do I understand it, I can see the allure. But the beautiful, exciting part about forced bi for me is not seeing two guys getting it on. That is not a huge turn on for me. It's that a man will set aside one of the things that he treasures most, his heterosexuality, to amuse and entertain me just because I ask.

As a huge fan and avid practitioner of erotic humiliation, I feel like forced bi is pretty much the ultimate in humiliation. Unless the guy LIKES it. Or WANTS it. And I'm not talking about enjoying it or desiring it because he loves/hates the humiliation aspect. Or because he wants to please his Domme. I'm talking about the kind of guy who is aroused by the act itself outside of the humiliation and service aspects.

The kind of guy his former Domme was trying to train him to become.

And while I understand the allure of this kind of psychological training, I don't want to do it. When a guy sucks cock for me, I want to bask in his humiliation. I want him to want to suck cock because it pleases and amuses me, not because he's been trained to crave the taste cock on his tongue.

Later in our very hot conversation ...

"I need to go to bed and jerk off. You have me ready to explode."

"No cumming. Touch yourself all you want but your next orgasm is mine and that means you wait."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good boy. I, on the other hand, may just go have a handful while I think about you aching to cum."

"Yes Ma'am. I'll watch some gay hand job porn ... LOL."

"NO. Absolutely not!! No gay hand job porn!"