Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tying up newbies

I love rope. I love everything about it. The smell, the feel, the marks that it leaves, hell, I even get wet from the sound of rope hitting the floor as I'm tying or untying someone.

I don't think anyone would argue how much I enjoy rope and all the very fun things you can do with it including the vanilla guys that I've run across over the past year. 

Yep, I love tying up newbies. The more vanilla, the better.

I generally start with something simple and I don't really Dom them, just give them a taste. I might just tie their wrists but usually I like to tie them spread eagle across a bed so I can tease them mercilessly and just generally have my way with them.

I like to leave some play in the ropes at their wrists the first time around so that they don't feel too restrained. It also allows something else, the hotness of which I hadn't fully realized until recently.

I love LOVE LOVE how someone who has never been tied up before reaches for me the first time they experience my rope. I LOVE how the rope restrains their movement when their hands reach for my breasts, my face, whatever they would normally be able to touch.

The look on their faces - amused frustration. And it's so incredibly hot.

Even hotter? When I release them from my ropes and they are finally able to touch me.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My dating persona

I recently joined a vanilla dating website. Yeah yeah don't judge. I'm thinking I may happen upon a guy who is "convertible" or at the very least very open minded.

Anyway, this particular site is full of all kinds of quizzes and questionnaires to assist you in determining your compatibility with others. Today I ran across one for your dating persona. The results are SO dead on accurate and SO funny I just had to share them:

The Playstation 
Random Gentle Sex Master (RGSM)

Easy to turn on. Hard to beat. You are The Playstation.

You’re a nice girl, and you have lots of sex. It’s therefore highly likely that you’re attractive, and you’re certainly outgoing and friendly. Plus, this healthy physical attitude of yours indicates deeper emotional well-being and stability. Unheard of. When guys dare to dream, they dream of you.

You don’t get attached too easily, and, to wit, you’re not necessarily looking for something long-term right now. That’s a bigger asset than you know. Though, physically speaking, you’re open to anything, you’re keeping your emotional side well-protected. This means there won’t be a lot of wreckage to clean up whenever you decide to settle down.

In the meantime, the men you share yourself with actually respect you. Like them, you enjoy sex for its own sake and don’t need any other validation for pleasure than pleasure itself. Hopefully, you have the good sense to blow off anyone who thinks less of you for that. Usually, this is the part of the description where we offer some life-correcting advice, but honestly, we can’t think of anything about you we’d change. Keep on fucking, partner.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Discovering boot and foot worship

I have a list of rules I give submissives. It includes instructions on how to address me and greet me in both public and private, grooming and fitness/maintenance guidelines, as well as expectations for behavior.

One thing you might find out of place is rule #13. "Do not place your feet or toes anywhere on my body, ever."

I have what you might call an anti-fetish when it comes to feet. I can't handle anyone's toes on me. It literally makes me nauseous. No joke.

As open minded as I am, it's a still little difficult for me to understand someone's fascination with feet. They're enclosed in a damp dark shoe all day or, worse, open to the grime and dirt they encounter when bare or in sandals. Eww.

I actually do understand the humiliation aspect of it. I really enjoy making a boy kneel on the floor and kiss my feet as a show of their submission. Better yet is to have them kneel and beg to kiss my feet. It was very hot for me from a power exchange perspective but that was about it for me.

That changed last week for me.

Last summer I briefly dated and considered a boy I refer to as chewtoy. Even though I didn't go "full Domme" on him during our play session, I still managed to overwhelm him. After some time, we discussed things and it was clearly evident he's not truly submissive. He does, however, have some typically submissive fetishes, such as being bitten (hence his nickname), and a desire to be topped in bed.

Chewtoy also has a foot and shoe, more specifically boot fetish.We've remained in contact since we played and I kind of mentor him, or at least try to answer his questions about the lifestyle. He's even bottomed for me in rope class.

A couple of months ago he'd given me a pair of very fun platform boots he'd purchased for a project (pictured right). I'd strutted about (ok maybe a wobbled - I'm not used to platforms) while chewtoy grinned approvingly and told me hot they looked on me.

I knew from previous conversations we'd had that chewtoy enjoyed fetish wear, shoes especially, yet I was still a bit surprised when he contacted me before Christmas saying he'd purchased another pair of hot boots. He asked me if I'd wear them for him. Actually he was very specific. He wanted me to wear them for him without socks for a few hours, tie him up and make him smell.

Um yeah other than the tying up part, I really didn't get what he was going for. I tried to tie in the smelly boots with some kind of humiliation I had yet to inflict upon a sub, but quite frankly, I was grasping at straws struggling to connect what he envisioned with something that appealed to me.

Then last week chewtoy just happened to call at the perfect moment. Fresh from the break up with my FMT, and moments after a bad first date, I was feeling dangerous and ready to play.

A few beers later I was lacing up the very hot patent leather boots he'd bought and then modeling them in my panties and sweater.

Later, as I lay on his bed with my legs in the air admiring my footwear, chew toy began kissing the shiny black boots in a very sensual way. He put his cheek against their smoothness and closed his eyes blissfully. He licked them like they were a delicious treat. Chewtoy was in heaven.

Watching him practically make love to my boots was an erotic experience I wasn't expecting. The closest thing I can compare it to is a threesome. It was a lot like watching him making out with someone else. And for me, watching my guy with someone else is just fucking hot. And this someone else was black, shiny, sexy and directly connected to me.

Another aspect that surprised me was that I could actually feel many of his kisses and licks through the boot. In regards to hotness, that was right up there with when a guy bites my nipple through my bra or breathes on my pussy while I'm wearing panties. HOT.

I've never really researched boot and foot worship, so if you're a purist and there's some kind of protocol for this kind of thing, give me a break here. I'm new to this and so is he. We just went with what felt good and natural and as with any good scene, it evolved naturally.

What it evolved into was some very hot sex featuring me in nothing but a black lace bra and the boots you see above. My flexibility really came in handy for being able to appreciate the sexiness of my boots while enjoying everything else.

Afterward I slowly took off the boots to reveal one foot, then the other. Chewtoy marveled at how warm, damp and soft my feet were after a few hours in the boots. Before I knew he was kissing and licking each toe and enjoying my entire foot.

Before this experience, I'd have cringed at the idea that someone wanted to lick my sweaty feet. But yet as I watched chewtoy savor and enjoy each toe, I realized it was hot for me. Very very hot. And I want more.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Being the kinkiest person in the room

Before my FMT and I broke up recently, we'd decided to trying swinging. We are both passionate, open minded people and we've both considered swinging with other partners and just never gone through with it. We've both engaged in threesomes with other partners and really really enjoyed the experiences. And after a year of seeing each other and talking about it, we were ready to do this with each other.

My ex boyfriend from college swings and he credits me from his lifestyle choice but that's probably another blog. In any case, he knows of my BDSM proclivities and was very interested to learn I was going to try swinging. When I asked him why, he cited first the "tension" between the swinging lifestylers and the BDSM lifestylers. Being in the swinging lifestyle, he knew that most BDSM lifestylers look down upon swingers. And that swingers don't really understand BDSM lifestylers.

"I don't care what the BDSMers think about me swinging. This is what I want to do and so I'm going to do it. But now what are the swingers going to think about me?"

"Oh they're going to find you fascinating. They're used to being the kinkiest people on the room."

So my FMT and I set about the process of screening couples for our first swap. Not ones to do anything half ass when it comes to sex, we agreed to full swap, same room and didn't exclude the option of each of us playing independently. This immediately placed us in the kinkiest of the swingers without any mention of my own BDSM lifestyle choices.

And the swingers do find me fascinating

They ask me questions about what I'm into. Now when I get this question from a BDSM lifestyler, it's easy to respond. Erotic rope bondage, erotic humiliation, CBT, chastity, tease and denial, impact play, body worship, forced bi, etc.

But when a swinger lifestyler asks what I'm into, it's a bit of a struggle to answer. My standard answer is "oral" and "I'm very bi." I can't shock them with what I'm really into. I don't tell them I find it entertaining to make a guy eat his own cum. But I do tell them about the softer aspects of my BDSM interests. Even swingers think it's hot that I enjoy tying someone up and teasing them. Surprisingly, I've even run across some men who are interested in or who already enjoy strap on sex.

Being the kinkiest person in the room, or at least the kinkiest person they know, means I get very generic questions like "What does BDSM entail?" or "What does you mean when you say you are Dominant?" These questions continue to give me pause and make me really think before I answer. In a way I feel like an ambassador for BDSM in these moments. I want to dispel the cliche image they have of the leather-clad whip-wielding Dominatrix but I don't want to shock them with the reality of what I'm into either.

My ex boyfriend recently asked how the swinging was going and I told him I feel like the hot new Swedish exchange student because everyone is so obviously intrigued by me.

I'm enjoying being new to the lifestyle but still being the kinkiest person in the room.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Baring it all

Recently I received a stream of tweets from a devoted follower of mine on Twitter, @boypet. Here's one of the tweets:

"You're amazing: your openness, honesty and courage is both beautiful & astounding. Just wanted to tell you that."

Occasionally one of my followers will tell me they enjoy my tweets and I so love hearing from them. While I can never truly hear just how fabulous I am enough, this one was different to me because he touched on openness, honesty and courage.

The truth is, I don't say everything that comes into my brain on Twitter, though to my followers it may seem that way, and I surely don't blog everything. I omit things to protect my identity and occasionally withhold experiences I'm not ready or willing to share.

However, for the most part, I really don't hold back much. I have a softer side. And I know it's probably a little puzzling for some, other Dommes in particular, that I so often show my soft underbelly.

I am human. I make mistakes. I experience heartbreaking disappointment. There's a lot that I don't know. And I'm learning more about myself and the lifestyle all of the time.

What I do know is this: I am Dominant and I'm secure in that Dominance. Baring it all for my readers and followers doesn't diminish my strength because my strength comes from within.

I'm going to continue to share lots of things with my readers and followers, good and bad, happy and sad. Does that make me as courageous as @boypet seems to think? Maybe. But I don't know any other way to be.