Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Romantic shit

I once had a potential bring me my favorite lavender roses with a bottle of my favorite wine. He scored serious points for his sweetness AND for paying attention. And to this day, a picture of the roses he gave me is the background on my phone.

But this guy is the exception, not the rule, at least in my world.

Perhaps there is something about me that repels romantic gestures. Maybe I'm too independent. It's true. I'll buy my own damn flowers. Maybe guys can sense that about me. 

But I wonder if maybe it's my dominance. 

Nodder once told me, "It's tough for me to sweep you off your feet when I feel like I should be kissing them." Whenever I long for a guy to be all romantic and shit, I remember those words and wonder if the very thing that makes me ME is the very thing that's inhibiting a guy's desire to be romantic. 

This troubles me so I asked around. One vanilla guy I know told me he couldn't ever be submissive because he's such a romantic. This fascinated me and I had to know why. 

"When I think of romancing a woman, I think of it coming from a position of confidence and strength.  Sort of the proud hunter bringing in his quarry.  So I think the power relationship in that case is very much titled in the man's favor." Femdom relationships, not so much.

This made me think back to the romantic gestures I have received over the past few years from males and I was startled to realize they were almost exclusively from vanilla guys, Doms and switches - all definitely the hunter type.

Another friend of mine, a male sub, pointed out that males, generally speaking, are bad with romantic gestures. He also suggested that most male subs start with bad porn and that bad porn typically portrays female dominants to be much different than I am. 

"Even if they get past the habits and attitudes engendered by bad porn, they are more likely to have played with someone who uses her dominance as a personal shield. So then when they get to you, they've got to shed all these layers. They have to know that kink is only a part of who you are and what you want the relationship to be."

Well, here's the thing. I can demand things and certain behavior. I can assign tasks that yield romantic results. But what I really want is a guy that'll do those things unprompted just to make me smile. 

And yeah, kink is only part of who I am. I want so much more out of relationship than that. I want all the kink AND all the romantic shit. 

Leave a sweet note on my car. Send flowers to me at my office. Take me on a picnic in the mountains. Do romantic shit. Woo me. Sweep me off my feet, damnit. 

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


So I've been dating this vanilla guy for almost five months. Nothing serious, rather casual.

I like the way he asks me questions that make me think almost as much as I like the way he fucks me. 

The very first time he fucked me, I was a purring pile of goo when he left. Sated and happy, I remember laying in my bed thinking, "If I could have that kind of vanilla sex all of the time, I might be able to live without kink."

Shocking, I know. 

That euphoria lasted several hours and then the urge to dominate men returned again. Men, just not him. I didn't have the urge to dominate him then and haven't in the almost five months since. 

There's something refreshing about having a relationship without a D/s dynamic. It's freeing somehow. That's not to say we haven't talked a lot about kink. He's a curious guy and I'm not one to flinch from an interrogation. I've even occasionally been guilty of over sharing. So I've told him a lot about the things I've done and why. He's even read a few of my blogs. 

I haven't hidden my world from him.  He even follows me on twitter. 

"Sometimes when I read a Mistress Lilyana tweet, I don't think that it's you. You say stuff as Lilyana that isn't you."

"It's very much me it's just a side of me you've never seen."

"Don't get mad, but to me it's a character you play."

"You've never seen that side of me. But if you asked my close friends that have, they'd tell you it's not a persona, it's me."

Because he's never even seen a hint of the Domme within, I totally get why he'd assume Lilyana is some character I pretend to be. I just feel zero reason to be a dominant when I'm with him so I'm not. I'm just plain ole everyday me. 

I've dated Doms and vanilla guys before and although I've typically been able to keep my Domme urges in check, I've always had them. I've sometimes fought those urges but I've always had them.

But with this guy, I simply have no Domme urges at all. None.

"You're the Lilyana antidote. It's YOUR fault! I've date hard core bad ass Doms that haven't done this to me. Congrats."

"Antidote or Kryptonite?"


"Or truth serum?"

"Nah. Kryptonite maybe."

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Edging Part 2

For those of you who may not know, edging is bringing someone up to the point they're ready to cum but not letting them orgasm. If you've been reading my blog a while, you know it's one of my favorite ways to exert control. You may also remember my post about my FMT trying to edge me. Yep, he tried to edge a Domme. Such a funny guy, my FMT.

Well, I've started seeing my FMT again. Long time blog followers will remember him as the funny, sexy vanilla guy I had an open relationship with four years ago. Now he's back in my life and in my bed and if Friday night was any indication of things to come, things in both areas are about to get interesting thanks to his return.

"What did you think about THAT stamina?" my FMT asked as we lay in his bed, catching our breaths after a lengthy romp.

"Pretty impressive!" I was indeed impressed. He's 37 and hadn't slept with me in more than two years. I hadn't expected him to last anywhere close to as long as he'd lasted.

"Don't you want to know how I did it? Don't you want to know my secret?" he asked with the glee of a child bursting to enlighten me.

"You were thinking about baseball stats, right?" I figured he'd forgotten that he'd told me his secret more than four years ago when we first began dating. Thoughts of baseball stats and bills always helped him last longer.

"No, that USED to be what I'd do. Now I do something else and it's something I learned from you actually."

"From me?" I hadn't slept with my FMT in more than two years. I hadn't even seen him in 18 months. I couldn't imagine what he meant.

"Edging," he announced with a grin.

I laughed, "Oh really!"

"Yes. When I masturbate, a lot of times I edge myself. I'll watch porn until right before I'm ready to cum then stop, wait a few minutes, start another porno and do it again. That's really improved my stamina."

Of course I laughed at this and thought about our history with edging. How he'd enjoyed me edging him when we were together before and how frustratingly funny it was when he edged me.

I've always enjoyed edging because of the kind of control I can exert over a guy. The sadist in me finds it amusing in the hottest way. I guess I just never thought I'd experience a second benefit from edging, particularly from edging I'm not a participant in, but I'm SO going to enjoy it now!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Normal - by the writer

My former long distance sub and close friend, the writer, wrote this recently for me. It so beautifully captures the loving D/s dynamic between a Domme and her sub that I wanted to share it.

If you took any moment of our Sunday together and posted it on tumblr, it would look like vanilla sex. And not necessarily hot vanilla sex at that. If you put it all together as a video, someone would need to be very perceptive to realize that the couple isn't as straight as they come. I would be there, adoring you. Anyone could see that in my eyes. You would be luxuriating in my attentions, lovingly enjoying our time together. We look normal.

I cherish afternoons like this. Afternoons where you are stretched on your bed, and I arrive and do nothing more than hold and caress you, play with your hair. I love its color and its smell. How it falls through my fingers. How careful and gentle I must be.

I know you could go on like this for hours, and, because I am not normal, I am pleased if that is all you wish. It is not just my devotion and submission; it is our time to connect as friendly lovers after the intensity of a more aggressive scene.

It is a reminder to us both that I submit because of my love for you. I don't need outfits or toys or others to fuel my submissive desire. I need only your presence.

On Sunday, you simply relaxed, fell in and out of half-sleep. Then, while I was still patiently and lovingly running my hand across your scalp, you slipped your hand down to your pussy. I did not try to watch you pleasure yourself. I just felt your body change its rhythm and did my part in your pleasure.

Then you offered me your breasts.

I trembled as I guided my hand towards them. It had been so long since you had bestowed this gift that I literally shook with anticipation. I love their heft and their softness, the pale glow of your aureole. I stroked you gently before beginning to approach your nipple; as it began to stiffen into its perfect round engorged state, my cock nearly exploded.

I was in the first weeks of my long period of absolute abstinence, so I carefully positioned my member so it would not brush against you. Yes, even when we look normal, the kink resides in my cock and (most importantly) my brain.

You gently placed your hand on my head, and I moved forward, taking the nipple in my mouth. I wonder, now that I recall it, if someone watching would see that every move was done in response to you. That I have become so accustomed to you that the slightest signal tells me how to behave.

I ran my tongue over your nipple, licking and teasing. As your breath quickened, I sucked gently, increasing my rhythm but never letting pleasure be tainted by pain. I could feel you cumming. Then you amazed me and let me know that I could bury myself between your boobs. Oh, this was luxury. This was perfect.

My cock was in torment the entire time.

A touch to the top of my head, and I began to make my way down your chest, your belly, the tuft of hair above the pussy I would soon adore. I took my time and relished the sweet, salty taste of your skin.

I rushed nothing. I first attended your inner thighs, then the outer part of your labia. Not until you were wet and ready did my tongue even begin to part your lips. How I love that first taste of you. How hard it is to restrain myself and not simply dive in.

It is times like these that I miss vanilla sex, miss it badly. When I am feeling pain, the intensity replaces my desire for penetration. When playing with others, the rush of excitement and humiliation, of being controlled, tempers my instinct to thrust.

But making love like other people do while having my cock denied – it’s then that I can't help wishing I could be like your other lovers. For most of my life, eating pussy was prelude to entrance. To the warm wetness of cock inside pussy. To feeling my cum rise as a woman would climax; to feeling the rush of a powerful orgasm and sniffing the scent of a woman on my cock in the afterglow.

I have never wanted a woman as much as I want you.

You came three times, then gently pushed me away.

I resumed my position, played once more with your hair as you drifted into a nap.

I was filled with pride and frustration and desire. Your hair sifted through my fingers. You slept.

I was filled with subtradiction: I wanted to fuck you and I wanted the state I was in.

You smiled in your sleep.

I adored you. My cock ached and dripped and pulsed. It did not even brush your skin. I thought of what fucking felt like. Then you shifted slightly, so content, and I thought: serving you, knowing you, submitting to you is the best sex I have ever had.

I played with your hair.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

On relationships and not knowing what the fuck I want

Over the past several months, I've been trying some different approaches to dating and none have really yielded what I'm looking for. The truth is, I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for. I want a primary partner, someone I can share my life with, but I have no set idea in my mind what that relationship dynamic will be.

You might assume I need a primary partner that will be sexually submissive to me. You'd be wrong. While I know I need that type of relationship in my life, it's not a requirement of my primary partner. I can very much envision building a life with someone that isn't submissive to me but that is open minded and understands that being dominant is part of who I am. Someone who can grow to become secure enough in our relationship that I can explore a D/s relationship with someone else without damaging our own relationship. 

A Dom would be perfect for this because he'd already understand D/s relationship dynamics and certainly the need I feel to continue domming. And when I've dated Doms in the past, I've experienced an undeniable chemistry I'd love to have with my primary partner. However, most Doms want to date someone that will be submissive to them. I run across Doms periodically and while they find me intriguing because we have so much in common, they've typically never even considered dating another dominant.  I've also found it takes an exceptionally confident and secure Dom to date a Domme. These things make it difficult to find (or be found by) the right Dom to date. 

Periodically I'll make an attempt at dating a vanilla guy. Of course he's got to be open minded and lifestyle friendly. I don't need him to engage in BDSM with me but he's got to understand that's part of who I am. I've had varying degrees of success and failure with this lately. 

I have a profile on two vanilla dating websites. My profile on OKcupid occasionally yields a potential gem because the site does a decent job of matching me with sexually open minded people. I've been periodically dating a bisexual guy that found me through OKcupid. Nothing remotely serious but it's been successful enough that I haven't given up all hope of the site yielding anyone worthwhile. 

I have two PlentyofFish profiles - one that is kinky and one that is vanilla. My kinky profile has yielded a lot of interested wannabe subs lately but of all that interest, the best candidate so far has been a vanilla guy with zero subby aspirations. I enjoy him a lot and our chemistry is awesome. In fact, after spending time with him, I've wondered if maybe I could live without BDSM. That I could maybe walk away from the lifestyle if I could feel the way I do with him.

Crazy right? Eh, don't worry. The feeling doesn't last long. 

Still, it's enough to ensure I can confirm that I really have no fucking clue what I want from a relationship. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

In his eyes

As I alternated between a slow, sensual strokes up and down his shaft, sharp slaps to his cock and firm pats to his balls, I watched his face change. 

Sometimes, his eyes are closed as he enjoys the bliss of my soft hand but that never lasts long before I feel the need to hurt him again. After the first sharp slap to his cock though, his eyes fly open. The responses he gives me vary greatly. 

Often, he looks at me as if he's surprised. It's not genuine surprise because his eyes are soft and melty with sub space.  Sometimes he hisses or gasps. It's as if he's sleepy and aroused and yet surprised. This always amuses me. He knows I enjoy hurting him and I cannot fathom why he'd ever be surprised.

One of my favorite looks is the one I'd characterize as accusatory. He appears mad, forhead furrowed and typically growls aggressively at me.  It says, "What the fuck did you do that for" yet it encourages me to do it again. 

And then there is the look of adoration that tells me he will sit there and take whatever I want to dish out just as long as I want to give it to him. 

As I abused his cock over and over, I watched his face shift in response to my changes in tactics. In one particularly rough round of ball slapping, he growled and almost lunged towards me. His response made me smile, as it always does, but in a moment of clarity, a very interesting thought came to mind. 

His growl didn't scare me. His sudden lunge towards me didn't make me flinch. It just made me hot. Although he is bigger and stronger, none of his responses have ever made me afraid for my safety. They've only aroused me. 

The answer is in his eyes. Somewhere in the softness of his eyes, in his sub space, I can see there is no danger for me. There is no chance he wants retribution for all the pain I'm inflicting. There is only his acceptance and his desire to please me. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Deep throating assignment

Another sub assignment that is just too hot not to share:

Hello Miss, per Your request, i have researched three tips and techniques to help me better deepthroat Your cock. I want to excel at this, because i know it will please and entertain You.

I am sure while i am sucking Your cock and fighting the natural urge to gag while attempting to deepthroat it i will feel submissive, slutty and used.

Here are the three techniques that i will implement:


I will point my chin forward to align my mouth with my throat to accomodate Your cock. If i do this while laying on my back with my head over the edge of the bed, You will have the enjoyment of watching my neck and throat expand and bulge as Your cock slides in deeper


It will be important to fully relax as my mouth and throat attempt to fully accomodate Your cock. i will focus on Your needs and how much this will please You to be able to throat-fuck Your sub

Using my Tongue:

When i feel a little resistance i will try to use my tongue to pull Your cock in deeper. When i begin to feel the gag reflex, i will pause for a moment, without removing Your cock from you mouth, i will then extend my tongue out a little further, pulling my tongue back in my mouth, pulling Your cock along with it.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Playing soccer in panties

I'm always interested in detailed accounts of how the assignments I give subs make them feel. This one was just too hot not to share.

Dear Mistress,

As promised, attached are the pictures you requested. I hope you are pleased with the results.

When I woke up this morning and you requested that I perform a task, my excitement could not have been measured. It had been a while since you requested anything at all, so I was a little shocked when you asked that I wear panties to my morning playoff game.

As with any athlete, superstition plays an everyday roll, especially when it comes to their clothing. That being said, adding panties to my kit was a tad frightening, but my cock seemed to be telling me otherwise. The excitement didn't take long to build. Before I knew it my cock was bouncing with anticipation. I was given the chance to please you and judging by the amount of precum, there was nothing I wanted to do more.

Your instructions were clear, so off I went to obtain the cotton pair about which we spoke. There at the bottom of the crowded drawer, I finally found them. I was worried for a second, the bright colored pairs would have been far too easy for people to spot if a slide tackle were to go awry. On they went over my still throbbing cock. I stood there a moment before putting on the rest of my kit, noticing the not so great fit. Tight just doesn't cut it as a description. I was running late so the rest of my kit went on in a hurry. As I ran to the car I could feel the thong fill in between my cheeks and push against my ass. The feeling of the soft fabric against my hole reminded my of all those instances where you requested me to bend over and describe the feeling of the fabric as it rubbed against me. Still hard, I jumped into the car and off to the game.

When I arrived, I was nervous, and I never get nervous. Whether or not I was going to get caught was a prominent thought. I also worried about noticeable panty lines. As I shook hands with my team, I felt dirty. I felt that I was doing the least manly thing I'd ever done. But again the signs: I was still semi hard and leaking precum. I'd reach to adjust and I all I could feel was the hot and sticky precum all over my lower abdomen. Then I thought of you and how happy that would make you. From then on, you were in my head as if you were a spectator at the game. I wanted to play well for you. I wanted to work hard for you. Most importantly, I wanted to win for you.

As I pushed the ball toward the middle of the field 10 minutes into the game I saw my first opening. The forward had made a quick run to the left, showing for a pass, so I drove to the open space with speed and let a shot fly from 22 yards out. The goalie was late to his left and my shot hit the back of the net. I looked over to the sideline as if you were there and when you weren't, I reached my thumb into the side of my shorts and gave a hidden tug to my panties. I shivered a bit from that. 25 minutes in and I still had blood pulsing into my cock, albeit at a much slower pace. The urge to pull the thong from the crack of my ass was overwhelming, but I couldn't justify such a move... what would everyone think?

Come halftime, I hurriedly ran to my phone to update you. I enjoyed knowing you were pleased.

As for the rest of the game, you would have been proud, I scored again from 15 out and had two assists. I freaked out half way through the second half when I went to the ground for a slide tackle. I'd tied my shorts extra tight, but it didn't keep me from frantically checking myself.
As the game ended, I gave everyone a quick congrats and was off to the car. Jeff, our forward, knew I lived the closest and offered up my house for the boys to come watch the EPL games. I wanted to say no because I had pictures to take for my Mistress. I didn't, because I knew you'd like that I was taking pictures of myself in panties, while sweaty men, in great shape, sat only feet away from the closed door that hid me.

Thank you Mistress.

Always on my knees.

Friday, February 22, 2013


Nodder called me Mistress Snugglebunny. More than once.

And no, I didn't punish him for it for a couple of reasons. 1) It was funny. 2) It was true.

My name is Lilyana and I'm a snuggleholic.

I admit it.

I told Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby I wanted to blog about snuggling and that I thought that might be a sign I need to rethink my life.

He laughed and said, "Yeah but you're an a-fucking-mazing snuggler. YOU HAVE MAD SNUGGLE-IBILITY."

Snuggling is an intimate thing for me. Although I might put my feet in your lap, I definitely don't snuggle on the first date. But once I'm comfortable with someone, I'm definitely down for some full contact snuggling.

My favorite snuggling position with nodder was spooning. I loved being on the inside so I could feel his arms around me and so I could wiggle my ass against him.

I might enjoy snuggling but I'm still a sadistic bitch. He'd moan with frustration into my ear and I'd snicker softly.

But with Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby, snuggling is very different sometimes. Sure, we snuggle in the traditional ways, but sometimes it's as though he wants nothing more than to wrap himself around me in the most beautifully submissive way. He will put his head in my lap and his arms around my legs. And I totally melt.

I love the way he looks wrapped around me, so sweet and sexy. I'll rub his shaved head and feel him relax more, melting into me.

As much as I look forward to playing with him again, as exciting as it will be to make him pant, groan and scream, I have to admit, Mistress Snugglebunny is looking forward to satisfying the desire to feel him wrapped around me, his head in my lap.

Sunday, January 27, 2013


Before Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby came to visit for the first time four weeks ago, during our plotting and planning, he sent me a link to a post on Kendra Holliday's blog, The Beautiful Kind, "Nuru Lube Fantasy Cums True," telling me he'd done it and it was amazing. I read her blog and quickly agreed to add it to our kinky to do list.

We did it and he wrote about it. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to do it with my girlfriend, Elle, two weeks ago. It was SO HOT I decided to write about it too.

So what is this Nuru lube? What makes it so awesome that three sex bloggers feel compelled to write about it IN ALL CAPS?


Ingredients for a slippery good time.
Nuru gel is 98% natural and, to quote their website, made from moisturizing nori seaweed, aloe vera, chamomile, and grapefruit extracts. It is a transparent, tasteless and deliciously slippery and OMG is it perfect for a steamy body-to-body massage!

Imagine the slipperiest thing imaginable. It's like that only slicker. And sexier. You're going to use your entire body, covered in this sensational stuff, to give your partner(s) a full body massage. It's like the best, most sensually naughty Slip N Slide ever.

You'll gasp, you'll moan, you'll giggle and make sloppy sloshy noises as you touch and are touched. Every movement becomes a sensual event.

Unlike other lubes and lotions, because Nuru is tasteless and odorless, you'll be able to lick and kiss all your little heart desires. And if you like putting fingers and insertable toys (or even fists) in naughty places, you're going to LOVE it so much you'll be WRITING IN ALL CAPS TOO.

Now I typically don't give commands in my posts but this one you're going to want to obey. Trust me. DO THIS:

  1. Buy Nuru Gel. I got mine from Amazon - 33.8 oz. for $55. Yes, I said 33.8 oz. I know that's a lotta lube. It's enough for two sessions, three maybe if you wanted to skimp but you shouldn't so just don't. Just order the whole bottle. Trust me when I say you'll want to do it again and you'll want to do it exactly the way I'm telling you to do it now.
  2. Get an air mattress. I used a queen sized one I already had it on hand for guests and whenever I inflate it for weekend visitors in the future, I'll smile and have naughty memories of it being used for far higher purposes.
  3. Buy a waterproof, zippered mattress protector. This will make clean up quick and easy. Mine was $12.99 from Target. I can toss it in the wash and reuse it. 
  4. Have a measuring cup, mixing bowl, towels and water bottle on hand. A water bottle that squirts is perfect. If you're a squirter, even better, but you'll still want the water bottle.
  5. Pick a partner. Or two. Hell, Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby is talking about having a Nuru lube party. I think that's a grand idea! And after you do this, you'll be begging for an invitation.
  6. Pick a location. If you have a fireplace, you'll want to do it right beside it. Not only is it romantic, it's WARM and being warm is important.
So now you've got everything on hand. It's time to prep.

The prepping probably seemed more time consuming than it really is, mostly because I was so excited to do this both times. But don't worry, I'm here to walk you through it.
  1. Turn up the heat to about 80 degrees. While you may be a bit hot as you finish prepping, you're about to be naked and wet and you're going to want it warm.
  2. Fill up your sink with hot water and submerge the bottle of lube in it.
  3. Blow up your air mattress.
  4. Put the air mattress cover on it.
  5. Start a fire if you have a fireplace.
  6. Put your towels by the fire.
  7. Tip your air mattress at an angle against the fireplace so that the surface can begin to warm.
  8. Mix the lube. DO NOT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BOTTLE. You'll want to follow Kendra's instructions because it is absolute perfection!
    1. Pour about 2 cups of lube into the mixing bowl. 
    2. Add 1/2 cup of water.
    3. Mix it up with your hand.
    4. Savor the slickness, get all excited and hard/wet about what you're about to do.
  9. Fill up your spray bottle with really hot water.You'll want to use this later when things start to get a little sticky to get things slick and wet again.
  10. Put your bowl of lube and water bottle in front of the fire.
  11. Grab your partner(s) and jump in the shower. You'll just need a quick rinse. The idea is just to get wet. On the outside. If you're a woman, you're probably already wet on the inside.
  12. Without drying off, lay your partner on the air mattress on the floor.
  13. Grab the warm lube and gently pour it (or scoop a few handfuls) onto their chest.
  14. Enjoy!
I've done this twice now. The first time was amazing because it was ... well ... my first time. The second time was amazing because I got to watch Elle enjoy it for the first time. Of course I was saying, "Isn't this the best thing EVER?" every 30 seconds. It was just so awesome. And there's a certainly to be said for doing this with another soft, delicious woman. But both times were notable, to be sure.

So consider this a warning. This is not one of those things you'll do once. You'll want to do it over and over again. You'll be glad I talked you into buying the big bottle.

And you'll want to tell everyone you know about it. It's just one of those things you'll want everyone you know to experience. You'll want to shout it from the rooftops or, at the very least, write about it in ALL CAPS!

My boy, Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby

Two and a half years ago, he found my blog. Shortly thereafter, he found me on twitter. Since then, we've slowly become closer through social media and over the phone, until one night, a month ago, I found myself sitting across from him and his beautiful wife at a LA restaurant.

Yes, his WIFE. As in married. Poly and married.

And beautiful. As in I just might have a mad crush on her.

He's a switch who started his journey into the lifestyle as a sub. He "turned Dom" five years ago and has enjoyed getting his kink on as a Top ever since. And now he's chosen to return to his roots a bit.

I couldn't be more flattered that he's chosen me. To have read every kinky word I've ever written, to have followed my tweets and mundane vanilla Facebook posts ... To be an experienced player with a great understanding of the lifestyle ...

And to say I find him intriguing is an understatement. His subby style, his switchiness, even the vanilla him, everything intrigues me.

He's a-freaking-dorable too. Definitely yummy.

He traveled from Southern California to spend the weekend with me in early January. We agreed before the trip we'd approach it with no expectations but we did, of course. It had been a little while since I'd had someone at my feet and he was more than anxious to be there.

He'd told me he "had a lot of subby to give," and even though we played very little, I can verify that it's true. Even though we had an action-packed, fantastic weekend full of sex and fun, what I enjoyed most, what I remember with a smile where those moments where he had a lot of subby to give and he gave it beautifully.

How he presented me with freshly poured champagne holding the crystal flute in both hands with a little bow and a blush. How he looked up at me, kneeling and all melty as I fastened my play collar around his neck. How he looked and felt wrapped around my legs with his head in my lap as I lounged on the bed.

There is a subby sweetness about him that barely conceals the intensity of the Dom beneath I know he is with others.

And I fucking love it.

I know he wrestles with it - his instinct to dominate. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And I love that he submits, to me. That he overcomes that instinct. That he wants to submit to me even more than he wants to follow his instinct to dominate.

Read blogs about Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby

Update 2016: I changed his alias to my pet object. Read blogs about my pet object