Monday, August 31, 2009

My brit's mantra

A few of weeks ago I began chatting with a boy from England. He is charming and flattering in a very sincere and endearing way and I've grown quite fond of my brit over time.

Recently I've begun "thinning the herd" as I call it. I've cut a few boys from my "stable" (I hate that term) and have let a few others wander away. I hesitate to take on any new ones, even charming ones with British accents. However, my brit won me over when he wrote what he dubbed a mantra for me.

Every night before he goes to bed and every morning before he starts his day, my brit kneels at the foot of his bed with his head bowed and says the following:
I am Mistress Lilyana's boy.
All that I do is with her in mind.
She is a Goddess,
She is THE Goddess,
And my life is lived to please her.
Just reading that again gets me wet wet wet. *sigh*

Within a few days of beginning the ritual of saying the mantra twice daily, my brit reported that it was becoming an automatic thing for him. Automatic, but still erotic for him. "It gets me hard every time, but I don't even realize it until I finish. Kind of like a trance. It's tough to explain."

He reports that his libido has soared. "Seriously ... I've not been this horny since I was 14!"

As for me, well, I've got a thing for accents. So when my brit volunteered to send me an audio clip of him talking to me, I immediately knew that I wanted to hear the mantra spoken in his voice with his beautiful British accent.

And lemme tell you. It's better than porn for me! I've listened to it countless times, over and over again.

What makes my brit's mantra even hotter is that he devised this without any prompting from me.

Don't get me wrong. I think it's hot as hell and I love it. I just can't take credit for thinking of it. And I'm unimaginably flattered that he chooses to honor me in this way.

My boy, my brit

D/s relationship status: submissive

Relationship status: friends

My brit lives in Northwestern England and is in his mid twenties. He discovered me online and pursued me sweetly but diligently. He won me over with his delicious accent, boyish charm and desire to please.

My brit plays rugby regularly and enjoys the idea of me owning cocks all over the world. You could say that our interests are very similar. :)


Read blogs about my brit.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Sharing a girl with pk

About a month ago I met a delightful and very hot woman at a fabulously kinky party that I thought would enjoy meeting pk so I invited her over to his house the following day for an afternoon of lounging around the pool.

A little back story: pk is my sub and we adore each other but we don't really date each other. We're always on the look out for each other's mister or misses right. When I saw this lady flogging a boy just moments after being released from being tied up at the party, I'd hoped maybe I'd found someone for pk's switchy self.

So we spent a Sunday afternoon drinking and chatting pool side with some friends. She wanted to be tied up again so I even dragged out the rope and happily obliged her and then tied up pk for good measure.

After our friends left, she, pk and me began to play, first in the shower and then in pk's very comfy though not bondage friendly bed.

She had never been with a woman before and I was only too happy to be her first. As we became wrapped up in each other, pk got shoved none to0 gently to the side and what started as a threesome turned into pk watching us.

Don't pity him though. He got to see two hot chicks and some strap on action.

It was beautiful, as is always the case when two women are intimate. She enjoyed my strap on more than any cock she'd had before and wasn't afraid to share that with pk and me. I also enjoyed the irony of me whipping it out to use on her our first time when pk has not yet had the opportunity to even suck my strap on yet. I'm sure he was jealous not only that I was fucking this beautiful woman but also longing to be the one receiving my strap on himself.

In the after glow of our girl on girl action, she and I snuggled up in bed. I asked pk to fetch his metal dog dish and then masturbate for our entertainment.

She and I spooned naked and while I dished out "helpful" comments and instructions to pk while he touched himself. Then she turned to me and began kissing me again.

pk begged to cum like the good little slut that he is and we paused our making out long enough to watch him shoot his cum into the doggie dish. Then she watched fascinated as pk lapped his cum out of the doggie dish from the floor.

pk is a good is a good boy. A lucky boy too. I dare say there aren't too many Dommes out there that bring their subs girls to share.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sadistic me

For some reason, this picture makes me inexplicably happy.

Two years ago, before I recognized my dominance, I would have been shocked and appalled to see this picture. One year ago, before I truly embraced my inner sadist, I would have been intrigued. Six months ago, I would have had a morbid fascination with the photo. Even three months ago I would have been making a shopping list ... wooden dowels, rubber bands, chain, metal ring ...

Now it simply makes me happy.

I guess you could say that learning that I'm a sadist has been a bit of a journey for me. From the pride I first experienced when I saw my hand print on the inside of 6's thigh the first time we played, maybe I knew the path would lead this way.

Nah.

Truth be told, I never would have guessed in a million years how much I'd enjoy seeing others in pain as well as inflicting it.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Desiring forced bi vs. actually being bi

If you're a truly submissive man, a desire to suck cock for a Dominant woman doesn't make you bisexual. In fact, in my opinion, actually enjoying forced bi activities doesn't even make you bisexual.

What male subs have to ask themselves is this, "Do I desire to be sexually intimate with another man without being forced or encouraged by a Dominant woman?"

If your answer is no, I would not consider you bisexual.

Read my other blogs about forced bi.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Is he submissive or just kinky?

I've spoken with a lot of submissive guys in the short year since I realized I'm Dominant. A lot. And I've spoken with a few guys who THINK they're submissive who are really not.

Last fall I was contacted via collarme by a good looking, in shape boy in his mid thirties. In his very first email he explained his (one and only) submissive fantasy. He was looking for someone who would "own" his orgasm. Someone who would have him come over to their place, spit on him and tell him he is impotent without them. This spit should be induced by Jolly Ranchers, by the way.

I'm not kidding you.

We corresponded briefly as I tried to explore other submissive types of activities with him to gauge his interest. He flatly refused to consider anything else except strap on play to which he said, "Yes, I guess I'd be ok with you taking my ass every now and then."

I didn't realize it then, but when I ran across him a couple of months ago again, I instantly realized it: he simply has kinky fantasies. He is in no way submissive because he has no desire to please me, only satisfy his own kinks.

At first it was difficult to differentiate between the two but now I can tell fairly easily. In the case of "How NOT to win my heart and earn my attention," I suspected in the very first email that the boy was not submissive and simply entertained kinky fantasies.

The following are snippets from actual messages I've received that indicate a desire for fetish, not submission:
I am writing because you sounded open, honest, and willing to give and take. Some things you are interested in and some things I am. I also look for things that I would like to explore like queening. I look at photo's on the internet and I would like to try it full body weight. As your actual chair. Could I really breath? Won't know till I try. I also think about actually drinking pee. Don't know if you are open to this or not.
He's managed to say "I" nine times in just one paragraph. In this first correspondence he's telling me all about what he wants and nothing about fulfilling my desires.
Like I said in my first letter. I will do things for you and you some for me. I would be willing to take you places, shows, dinner, ball games, comedy clubs. Just have fun. In return you use me as your furniture, worship your body, toilet for urine.
Oh gee thanks! He's willing to take me places HE wants to go in exchange for me doing the things to HIM that HE desires.

On the other hand, here are messages that give me clear indication that the sender is truly submissive:
I have discovered that serving a stronger and more powerful Mistress is my escape and desire. I am totally compliant in her control, giving all I can to please and totally surrendering all my power to her to use in any way.
This boy not only understands submission, he can articulate what it means to him and that is SO hot!
To me submission is mainly mental ... the high end punishment is beyond what I desire. Do not get me wrong, I do enjoy spanking, nipple play, some restraints, but to me, it cannot just "be" that. Rather the emotional and mental application is far more powerful to me. I need a strong bond of attachment and am open to "anything" that brings you pleasure and delight, whether it is physical, sexual, or emotional.
I have no issue with a prospective sub verbalizing his desires and limits. I welcome it. But in this case, even when discussing his desires and limits, he's putting my desires first.

A true submissive finds their own pleasure in pleasing their Dominant. They may have specific activities they enjoy but pleasing their Dominant is the one thing that turns them on the most.

In my opinion, anything less is simply kinky desire.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

With every goodbye, we learn

In between giving me off menu treatments at his spa Sunday, my FMT decided to really tell me how he feels about me. It was unexpected and honestly a bit overwhelming.

I little back story: my FMT and I started dating 8 months ago. Over that time we've seen each other an average of every other week and talked or texted once or twice each week. We weren't dating each other exclusively and we were both pretty happy with things that way. He knows of my D/s proclivities and that I date submissive guys too. He's very open minded and pretty kinky himself but is not submissive. In fact, he's the only guy I've dated in quite some time that isn't submissive.

My FMT has some intimacy issues and I've known this all along. We've talked several times about taking things to the next level in our relationship and even just seeing more of each other, but his inability to allow anyone to become close to him was always a road block.

It was this road block that we discussed again Sunday. He seemed more open with me than he had ever been before about his feelings for me but I was still skeptical.

So when I saw my FMT last night, I shouldn't have been surprised at how things ended up, I guess.

Rather than rehash the evening, let's just say he was not very nice to me. He was, in fact, quite an asshole. When it became evident that he was doing all he could to drive me away, I got up and left.

In case my leaving wasn't clear, I followed up with a text (when he didn't answer me call) letting him know I was done been treated that way, done with him. Today I received a text of apology saying we shouldn't see each other anymore because he didn't want to hurt me anymore.

Everything has been leading to this, despite the occasional declaration of affection from my FMT from time to time. It's the right thing. He doesn't want to hurt me and I don't want to be hurt. However, it still hit me hard.

That's an understatement actually. I wasn't prepared to feel quite so upset about ending things. It had to be done. It did. But it has been way worse than I could have imagined. I rarely got to spend time with him yet I miss him already. I keep thinking that I'm not ready to lose him yet I never really had him.

Women are notoriously bad about staying with men who treat them badly. Even I have been guilty of this in the past. However, as a Dominant woman, I've grown used to being treated well and cherished by men. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm spoiled, but I'm definitely getting there.

So when my FMT's asshole side emerged, it was so glaringly obvious to me because it was such a contrast to how I've grown used to being treated.

I'm truly sorry that my FMT has these demons that prevent him from growing close to anyone, particularly me, but I'm not going to allow anyone to hurt me or treat me badly.

One thing my Dominance has taught me is that there are many men who are ready, willing and able to adore and cherish me. I don't need to tolerate being treated any way but very well. No woman should, Dominant or not.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Hot oil and off the menu spa treatments

pk bought a Birdlock chastity device a few weeks ago and gave me the keys. The fit wasn't great so he can't wear the device. Still, he agreed to remain chaste to me.

A little back story here on pk and me: We met several months ago and dated. Things didn't work out and we've remained very close friends and we play on occasion. We both are free to date other people.

Should have figured that the dating thing and the chastity thing MIGHT eventually become an issue.

Two weeks ago I met a beautiful woman at a beautifully kinky party. We hit it off and I soon realized she might be a great match for pk. So I invited her over to his house the next day to relax around the pool.

She's beautiful, funny and kinky - just the kind of person who fits in well with my group of beautiful, funny, kinky friends. Sure enough, she and pk hit it off and an afternoon at the pool evolved into an evening of kinky fun for her, pk and me. Well, mostly for her and me but pk got to watch. ;)

The following week I knew that she and pk had made contact and were hoping to get together. Saturday morning pk confirmed that they'd spent Friday night together, him utilizing his switchiness on her and letting her experience some BDSM delights. She adores being tied up, among other things.

pk told me they'd had lots of fun but that he'd remained chaste to me. She was still at his house and the fun was to continue.

The following day he admitted he'd "messed up." Too much tequila and kinky fun Saturday night and he'd not only violated his agreement to remain chaste, he'd also cum without permission.

Yes, I know I brought her to him. It wasn't a trick. I really do want him to find the right woman that he can be happy with. Hell, I'm totally willing to help him in that endeavor. However, his commitment to remain chaste was still in effect. I'd have been happy to give him permission if he'd just asked.

He broke his commitment. I had to punish him.

Dominants know you can't punish a submissive by spanking them or humiliating them. These are things submissives usually enjoy. Punishment should be something they don't enjoy. You can't reward bad behavior.

I decided that an effective punishment should be one that I enjoy and that he does not. What could I enjoy more than a nice long, expensive spa treatment on his dime? How about a spa treatment AND having him clean my house while I'm gone!

And what could be better than that? Well it just so happens that my FMT (Favorite Massage Therapist), who I have been dating for nearly 8 months, is a ... well ... massage therapist a resort spa near my home.

So I gave pk very specific instructions to call that particular spa and book a package of treatments which included a scrub, hydrating body wrap, facial and massage. I directed pk to book it with my FMT, who I'm sure I'd mentioned by name before. However
pk failed to make the connection when he booked the appointment which was just fine with me.

pk showed up well before my appointment time today and I got him started cleaning before I left. I had hot pink and blue panties with cherries on them for his uniform. They're two sizes too small and just hilarious on him.

On my way to the spa, I texted pk: "How does it feel to know you're paying another man to put his hands all over me for my pleasure?"

His response: "Great!"

My text: "I wonder if I'll get a rub and tug. Or lick, as the case may be." ('Rub and tug' is what many call a massage with a happy ending.)

His response: "I hope he really does pleasure you and it's a rub and tug!"

Precious, precious boy is my pk!

I'd managed not to tell my FMT about my scheme although I'm terrible at keeping surprises a secret. I'd had pk book the treatment under an assumed name so when he realized I was his 2:00 appointment, he was pleased and surprised.

His first order of business was drilling me for information. If you've read any of my previous blogs about my FMT, you'll remember he's a bit of a handful. Eventually I did reveal that the treatment was a gift from a sub who was being punished and that sub was also cleaning my house at that moment.

He seemed amused and maybe even a bit pleased about his role in things as he started the scrub portion of my treatment. After enjoying his talented hands massaging scented scrub and hot oils into my skin, he rinsed me and took me to his treatment room.

My FMT had me lay face down on his massage table. I was ready to feel his hands on me some more when instead I felt him climb on the table over me and his lips on my back. Somehow he'd slipped out of his clothes while I waited, my sneaky FMT.

No, I'm not going to tell you ALL the details of what happened next. Let's just say the treatments I received thereafter were NOT on the menu and there was hot oil involved.

The oil wasn't the only thing that was hot either.

On my way home, I texted pk and teased him about how well things went at the spa. At first he didn't believe me. And when I arrived at home to my VERY well cleaned house, there was one very curious boy in panties waiting for me to tell him just how it was that I managed to get lucky with a massage therapist. No licensed massage therapist is going to risk their license and their livelihood for a little action on the table, right?

After dodging his questions for a short while, pk eventually figured out the only logical explanation was that I knew the massage therapist personally. And then I reminded him just how personally I actually knew my FMT.

So yes, I feel like quite the Goddess today. I got my sub to not only pay for another man to pleasure me, I also got a clean house out of the deal.

My FMT had fun providing off the menu treatments AND received a nice tip out of the deal. pk is a generous guy after all.

pk ... well ... he got to look cute in panties with cherries on them while he cleaned my house and send me to a spa for the afternoon. And don't forget the delicious woman I gift wrapped and brought to him so that he could violate his chastity agreement.

Seriously though, pk was actually impressed that his $170+ tip got me so much pleasure. Apparently a rub and tug is $100 and doesn't include the kinds of treatments I received.

Or hot oil.

How NOT to win my heart and earn my attention

The following is correspndence between a supposedly submissive male on collarme.com and me.

Asshole on 8/7/09 at 7:17 PM:

Hello Mistress, I have been on this site for a short while and have never met anyone yet. Most all want money. One wanted to film me for her own viewing but wanted me to sign a waver. Uh huh. I am writting because you sounded open, honest, and willing to give and take. Some things you are interested in and some things I am. I also look for things that I would like to explore like queening. I look at photo's on the internet and I would like to try it full body weight. As your actual chair. Could I really breath? Won't know till I try. I also think about actually drinking pee. Don't know if you are open to this or not. I am 43, in good shape, and would like to chat with you over a drink or cup of coffee if you are interested. I am on the South side of town. Let me know.

MistressLilyana on 8/9/09 at 10:11 AM:
Just reading your profile, it doesn't appear you're looking for the same thing I am - something that has the possibility of evolving into a LTR. I did notice you talking about a friendship beyond D/s though so maybe I'm mistaken. Let me know what it is you're ultimately looking for. If it's just someone to explored BDSM without dating or other relationship, I'm probably not the one for you.

Asshole on 8/9/09 at 10:29 AM:
Maybe we're not. For me it would be give and take. Like I said in my first letter. I will do things for you and you some for me. I would be willing to take you places, shows, dinner, ball games, comedy clubs. Just have fun.
In return you use me as your furniture, worship your body, toilet for urine.
I do not do strap on, (I don't have a gay bone in my body) or clean your house which I saw you want done very much.
If you truly enjoy giving pain I might entertain that. I do not enjoy pain, doesn't do anything for me. But like I said this is give and take. It is up to you....

MistressLilyana on 8/9/09 at 10:55 AM:
It sounds like to me you have more of a need to satisfy your fetishes than you are truly sexually submissive. Perhaps you'll find someone who can satisfy those needs for you but I'm probably not that person. I'm looking for a man who is truly sexually submissive. Good luck in your search.

Asshole on 8/9/09 at 11:07 AM:
Your loss. I do quite well and enjoy the finer things in life. My favorite place to eat is at the top of the world. I personally prefer it over Steve Wynns. While I refuse to pay the "pro" doms, I have no problem treating women to very nice dinners and shows. Unfortunately all the doms I have ran into want to sit on their fat asses and get their housework done for free and fuck the guy in the ass with a strap on. I am a man. Not gay or a bitch. I can in turn be very submissive in other aspects and am more than willing to please and be used. Actually I think you just want a maid to do your housework. You tolerate foot worship? Hell,,I've had my feet licked, kissed and sucked. It feels fantastic. Why wouldn't a dom? Whatever. I have little time to worry about what you like or want. We're done.

This doesn't even warrant a response but I thought it would provide some amusement for my blog readers.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Breaking in my new boy chewtoy

As soon as he walked in, I pushed chewtoy up against the door and pinned his hands above his head. I pressed myself against him and just leaned in to nuzzle his neck, finally close enough to be able to slowly inhale his scent. I ran my hands under his shirt, over his chest and around to his back and asked him, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes Mistress," he said automatically.

I released him and we sat and drank and talked for ages until I couldn't take the anticipation anymore. I ordered him to remove his shirt while I grabbed my rope cuffs. In seconds I had his hands bound and behind his head and I was straddling his lap.

I teased him like that for a while, touching him and eventually kissing and biting him while I ground myself against his lap. I removed the rest of his clothes and teased him some more before my need to see him in more rope could no longer be suppressed.

I tied chewtoy to my coffee table, legs spread, arms above his head and back arched. He clearly enjoyed even the tying process, the feel of the satiny ropes gliding across his body slowly.

And boy do I enjoy seeing a boy in rope. Mmmmm.

I left him after I tied him securely and when I came back a few minutes later, I was pleased to see his excitement was still evident. chewtoy had tried to escape while I was away and his struggle had just excited him more.

I teased him like this, bit him, kissed him and let him enjoy my riding crop on the insides of his thighs. I thoroughly enjoyed everytime he flinched and every moan just made me wetter.

I took a short bathroom break and returned a few minutes later with my panties in hand. I slipped the black lace over his head and he was in heaven enveloped in the scent of my excitement. (He later mentioned this was the highlight of the evening for him.) While he enjoyed that, I continued my cycle of teasing and torture until his shoulders were begining to hurt from the bondage.

I slowly untied him, letting the ropes slip against his skin. Just as I removed the rope that had bound his rope cuffs to the coffee table, chewtoy put his still bound hands behind me head and pulled me to him for a searing kiss. The intimacy of this simple gesture was WAY OFF the hotness meter and was easily the highlight of MY evening.

Then I pulled my black lace panties off his face and allowed him firsthand knowledge of how delicious I smell and taste.

My boy, chewtoy

D/s relationship status: bottom

Relationship status: formerly dated, currently friends


I hadn't taking the initiative to message anyone through collarme.com in at least 6 months when I ran across chewtoy's profile in late July 2009. He had pictures posted of himself with his friend and former D/s playmate. In those pics he looked so happy, I felt compelled to message him.

chewtoy is in his late 20's and lives here in Las Vegas where he is somewhat of an artist when he isn't working an extremely technical and analytical job. He's new to the scene and had yet to experience anything more than role play before he met me. He was christened 'chewtoy' by my kinky girlfriend when she discovered that, among other things, he enjoys being bitten.

After our first play session, chewtoy was a bit overwhelmed. Acting as somewhat of a mentor, I helped his ascertain that he is a fetishist and a bottom, not submissive. Since then chewtoy and I occasionally play casually and remain friends.

Read blogs about chewtoy