Wednesday, April 1, 2009

About Mistress Lilyana

I'm 5'-7" and very feminine, voluptuous, with bright blue eyes, long auburn hair and super soft porcelain white skin. If you're into skinny chicks, you probably won't like me, but I'm not exactly BBW either. I'm comfortable with myself and my body and you should be too.

My interests, both inside and outside of the bedroom, are diverse and constantly expanding. Regardless of which side of the flogger you are on, you should be able to hold an intelligent conversation with me if you want to befriend me.

Although I'm new to this world, I've always been very open minded about everything, especially sex. I enjoy control and the pleasure I create for someone by controlling their pleasure.

My play interests include bondage, CBT, orgasm control, anything anal or oral, swinging, strap ons . . . really, too many to name. As I explore this world, I find more and more that turns me on. My hard limits include activities which are illegal, including children and animals, and activities which interfere with my family or career.

You may know me as lilylicious on the Literotica forums, MistressLilyana on Twitter, MistressLilyana on and MistressLilyana on FetLife. Feel free to email me at

My thoughts on submission (for prospective subs)

Submission occurs by your VOLUNTARY choice alone. The desire to serve me must come from within you and cannot and will not be non-consensually imposed by me, which is both immoral and illegal. I will not “take” your submission or force you to submit.

As my submissive, you respond to my requests with simple, direct, voluntary and joyous compliance. If this compliance is not forthcoming then you are not submitting. If you feel like I need to 'overcome' your resistance to prove I am a 'true or real dominant,' find someone else.

When you choose to submit to me and I accept your submission, you are relinquishing control of multiple aspects of your life to me and I am accepting that control. Together we'll decide what those aspects are.

I'm not your mother. You are not my slave. I cannot make every decision in your life and do not want to. However, I am happy to offer counsel as a friend, or even just listen when you need to talk.

Defining My Dominance

I've always been very open minded about all things sexual. And I've always enjoyed control, but only from a vanilla perspective. Until 2008 anyway.

In the spring of 2008, I met a very special friend who is a female submissive. Although I had a vague notion of the BDSM world, I wanted to know her and that world better so I could understand her more thoroughly. So I set out to learn all I could looking to the internet mostly for information.

During this time I had a profile on a vanilla dating website where I had met a very interesting man with whom I'd engaged in many text and IM conversations about many subjects including sex. I knew he had some swinging experience and he seemed to as open minded about sex as I was. Despite the obvious connection, we never met and actually dated. Eventually I gave up thinking anything would ever happen with him and then one day, out of the blue, I received a random IM message from his that said, “Ever spanked a guy before?”

After I stopped laughing, we talked, and he revealed he'd been Dominant for years and had played with women on a regular basis but had recently come to discover that he really desired to be sexually submissive to one woman. He chose me.

Just prior to this I'd been involved with a woman who didn't identify herself as submissive but enjoyed spanking, among other things. Playing with her and seeing how much she LOVED being spanked helped me overcome the issues surrounding spanking that still lingered from my own childhood experiences.

Even with this experience, all the knowledge I'd acquired through reading and having a submissive friend, I wasn't completely prepared to try flexing my Dominant muscles until after I'd had several conversations with my submissive. He knew when he chose me I was inexperienced, but he saw in me what I hadn't fully recognized in myself and was willing to help bring it out.

The perfectionist in me drives my thirst for knowledge. I was/am determined to learn all I can about the D/s dynamic so that I can be the best Dominant I can be. This quest has proved to be enlightening (and erotic) beyond my wildest dreams.

Looking back I can see that I was Dominant all along. There were signs that I didn't recognize. The fact that I could really only cum when I was on top and in control until I became engaged in D/s. That I did not enjoy being told what to do, ever, but particularly in bed.

Since I've begun educating myself, I've found that I so easily identify with what other Dominants think and feel, and though I can comprehend the basic elements of D/s play such as humiliation and objectification, I can not imagine myself enjoying that kind of play from a submissive perspective. I respect it and respect submissives, but cannot identify with their desires at all.

Although things didn't work out with my first submissive, he truly helped open the door to this world, and I'll always be grateful. Perhaps I would have eventually stumbled up on it because looking back, it seems it has always lingered just below the surface of who I thought I was.

In my Dominance, I've found who I truly am and what I really want.