Monday, May 15, 2017

Ruined




Unlike most Dommes, I'm not into cross dressing. However, I do enjoy a little feminization for humiliation purposes. 

I like to dress boys in ridiculously feminine panties because it amuses me. 

The more ridiculous, the better. Thongs with bows. Cherries printed across soft, pink cotton. Ruffles. Lace. Rhinestone bedazzled SLUT across the ass. Cuts so small even the smallest cock cannot be withheld. I have a collection I call 'panties for boys' that includes the most feminine panties I could find. If I wore panties, I'd never wear panties as ridiculous as the ones I acquire for boys. 

I'll make boys try them on slowly and parade around my room. It makes me giggle. A lot. 

Until Hando came along and ruined it for me. 

Hando is not a whore for humiliation like all of the subs who have come before him. I can't turn his desires against him with a few well chosen words. 

It was my default setting with a sub up until a year ago and it's taken some adjustment for me. I still slip, from time to time, when I'm in the primal Domme headspace where nothing is calculated and everything is instinctual. The words will simply tumble out. Hando isn't offended or hurt and I no longer worry he might be. He just isn't aroused from it. 

Due to this, when I play with Hando, I've steered clear of some of my favorite humiliation activities like forced feminization. And then it managed to sneak into our play during our anniversary trip in March. 

"Oh wow! Look what I found," I said, digging through my giant toy bag. "I wonder if they'll even fit anymore."

"What is it?" Hando asked looking at the wad of black lace in my hands. 

"These are my crotchless panties," I explained as I carefully untangled the delicate lace and satin ribbon that laced the fabric together. 

"YOU own panties?" 

"I have a couple of pairs. I wonder if these will still fit." I'd lost 60 lbs since I'd bought them. I delicately stepped into them and pulled them up. The lace gaped on the sides. "Nope."

Hando watched with interest, perhaps because he'd never seen me wear panties before, perhaps because of the naughtiness of the crotchless panties. Perhaps because he's simply always interested in what I'm doing. 

After laughing at how poorly they fit, I slipped them off and offered them to Hando. "Want to try them on?"

"Sure."

I don't remember being surprised by his response. At the time it seemed like a natural progression to things. We'd tackled quite a few new things that weekend. A lot of them were intentional. This was almost accidental. 

He tried to pull them up roughly, as all guys do when they first put on panties. They don't know that the delicate nature of panties requires a more thoughtful approach. 

"Slowly. Gently," I admonished, stepping in to help straighten the lace and tie the satin ribbon. He stood there like a good boy and let me fix the panties. 

I took a few steps back so I could get a good look ready to coo humiliating words at him. 

But he looked fucking hot in my panties. 

"How do they look?" he asked. 

I couldn't respond. My brain was processing the major shift. I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he looked. Except that he didn't look ridiculous at all. 

Instead of answering him, I directed him to stand in different positions so I could get a better look. I grabbed my phone and took some pictures. I showed him. 

"You look hot," I declared, rather reluctantly. 

"Yeah, I kind of do, don't I?"

"You're not supposed to look hot in panties," I stated flatly, defeated. I felt like he had ruined something I'd previously enjoyed so much by looking too fucking hot. 

Since then, I have whined those words more than a few times. I've even yelled them at him like an accusation. 

"It's not fair! You're not supposed to look that hot in panties!!" 

"Can't you just enjoy how sexy I look in panties for you?" he asked after a while. 

Yes. Yes, I could enjoy it. I WAS enjoying it. Begrudgingly, I had to admit I was enjoying it.