Sunday, May 31, 2009

CBT: Does the T stand for Torture?

As I explore BDSM, I'm finding that my interests are even more diverse than I had anticipated when I started down this path. I am nothing if not sensual in my Domination style and yet, as I explore various things, I am finding I'm more of a sadist than I imagined I could be.

I enjoy CBT. I like hurting men in that way. I admit it.

CBT is Cock and Ball Torture, right? Or is it really torture?

I'm not sure how other Dommes handle CBT. I can only tell you how I do things and what my sluts tell me when I ask for feedback.

They love it.

But maybe the reason they love it is that it's about a combination of torture and pleasure. CBTP perhaps.

There is little I enjoy more than stroking and/or licking a dripping hard cock to the point of nearly cumming and then smacking it soundly with a riding crop. I love the contrast, pleasure to pain, moans of delight to gasps of shocking pain.

I could go on and on about the many ways I inflict both pleasure and pain on a nice scrotum and penis. But I wouldn't want to give away all my secrets. ;) Suffice to say, there is an adequate mixture of pain and pleasure.

One sub, pk, who is no lover of pain, once told me that he'd endure whatever I wanted to dish out as long as he could see the joyful expression on my face while I did it. Another, my Dom friend, said he feels like taking the pain means he gets the pleasure, not the least of which is ensuring I'm having a great time.

Today I was playing with my FMT, the vanilla guy I've been dating for nearly 6 months. I edged him for a bit, bringing him to the point of cumming over and over. Then, when I could take it no more I sat in his lap for my own pleasure before he came. Afterwards we were discussing the edging and I told him I wished I'd had my riding crop handy so I could smack his cock just as he reached the edge.

He was surprised, I think, to know that I might use a combination of something so pleasurable with something painful. But I think it provided a moment of clarity as to why a man would actually enjoy CBT.

Who knows. Maybe my FMT will let me try out my crop on his cock and balls. Until then, I suppose I'll continue to enjoy CBT on my sluts. Oh who am I kidding? I doubt I'd stop torturing my sluts just because my FMT let me torture him too.

Friday, May 29, 2009

The scent of a boy

I dated a guy my senior year of high school who I worked with for the following two summers as a lifeguard AFTER we had broken up. He was actually my boss.

He had this intoxicating aroma that was like some kind of crazy trigger for me, and it was worse after spending the day in the sun. It wasn't bad like yucky BO but it was like this drug to me. I swear I had to keep from burying my nose in his discarded towels like some kind of crazy stalker. I could walk into the guard house when he was in there and nearly go weak in the knees just from one whiff.

When we dated, we fooled around and never "did it." He was a nice guy, a nice looking red head, but there was nothing stunningly amazing about him. However, after we broke up, it was sheer torture to be near him and, looking back, I must attribute it to the pheromones he emits which apparently just my brand. I can't explain it any other way.

In any case, I spent two summers torturing myself lifeguarding with my ex boyfriend and had to fight daily to keep from walking up to him and just licking him. That was 18 years ago and I bet I could identify him today purely by smell alone. And it would be pretty hard for me to restrain myself from jumping him.

Scent is a powerful thing for me. When I was with my first girl, I could NOT get enough of the way she smelled. In college an ex boyfriend enticed me into cheating on my current boyfriend by wearing a certain cologne he KNEW was my kryptonite. Ok, ok there MIGHT have been some Jack Daniels involved too, but I swear, it was the cologne that made me do it. Him. Do him, I mean.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Domming the Doms

My very first submissive, 6, was a Dom. I was the first woman he submitted to. He can actually be credited for recognizing my Dominance and bringing it out of me.

When I first agreed to Dom him, I didn't realize he'd been an active Dom for years. And when I discovered this, I was unexpectedly and completely turned on by the idea.

Since him, a handful of other Doms have chosen me to submit the first time. Hell, even one Domme submitted. One Dom has been tying up girls for more than 30 years. Another Dom maintained a secret foot fetish. All undeniably Dominant in very hot ways with secret desires to submit. TO ME.

It is unbelievably hot for me when a very masculine man submits to me. I love to exert power over their own power, tame the beast if you will. The more Dominant they are in their vanilla life, the hotter I find it when they submit. So it's natural, I guess, that Domming a Dom is very hot for me.

There are lots of potential scenes woven through my kinky creative mind, but easily the most erotic is Domming the Dom. I imagine watching him with some beautiful slut on her knees before him knowing he'll be on his knees before me very soon. I imagine her worshiping the cock I know I'm about to tie up in string and smack soundly with my riding crop. Hearing him give his little fucktoy commands in his deep confident voice knowing how he soft and warbly he sounds when he's begging me to cum.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


When I was in college, I tied up boys with silk scarves and karate belts. But when I first saw how hot a boy looked with his hands tied over his head in black rope, I become hooked on bondage.

I love it. I love the way boys look in rope. I love the way they look at me when they're tied up. But most of all, I love the marks that rope leaves on wrists and ankles and . . .

A couple of months ago, I tied up pk in my closet and left him there while I went out with a vanilla friend of mine to Fremont Street. I didn't know any great knots at the time and I was in a hurry so I just tied him the best I could. Actually, considering the length of time he was to be alone, I didn't want to tie him too well in case he needed to get out. Of course his cell phone was in reach.

Anyway, when I got home, I untied him and brought him out of my closet where he'd been comfortably nesting in my dirty clothes. I played with him a bit and then we snuggled on my bed.

It was then that I noticed the indentions the ropes left on his wrists. I marveled at them and touched the impressions, relishing the feeling of the pattern of the braid in his skin.

I remember telling him I thought it was hot and I remember him telling me he hoped the marks would go away. It was Saturday night. Surely they'd be gone by monday morning, right? Nope! I'm not sure how he hid the imprints at work, and eventually they did go away, but I can't tell you how erotic I find it even now, knowing my ropes left those imprints.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

An "advocate" for male submissives

My FMT and I have been dating off and on since January. It's mostly been on, but we haven't been seeing each other very often. We don't talk every day or anything but we do enjoy each others' company a lot.

BTW, he's the only guy I've dated recently who isn't submissive.

My FMT considers himself kinky, and I suppose by vanilla standards, he really is. He thinks of himself as Dominant and I'd agree he is definitely toppy, though he clearly enjoys a few submissive activities, at least with me.

My FMT's favorite sport is aggravating me. He's very good at it, but it makes me laugh so I let him get away with it. He particularly enjoys imitating what he imagines I'm like when I Dominating a guy. He even does his best Southern accent, which isn't too bad actually.

Last night my FMT found my new riding crop and proceeded to chase me around my room trying to smack my ass with it. I DID NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT.

"Like it?" my FMT asked after managing a tiny smack on my ass.


"Oh you don't like it, do you? See? That's what it's like when you beat on other guys."

My FMT proceeded to attempt to explain to me, in his funny light hearted way, just how wrong it is for me to do naughty things to boys like hurt them with riding crops. How they cannot possibly enjoy CBT, or as he calls it, "having clothespins on their balls."

"But they LIKE it," I tell my FMT. "They beg me to hurt them."

"You think the LIKE that?"

"I KNOW they like that!!!"

So to male submissives everywhere - you should know you have a new advocate in my FMT. He's trying very hard to ensure you are not "violated" in all of the ways you enjoy.

Actually, I'd say he's trying harder to make me laugh than anything. It works, too. But don't worry. He may make me laugh but no way can he convince me submissive boys don't enjoy me hurting them.

Monday, May 18, 2009

The sounds that boys make

Last night was my first time playing with dimples. We'd had a few vanilla dates previous to our play time and I had noted that he wasn't blushing when we talked about D/s, even when we were talking in public. From this I incorrectly suspected he would not be terribly responsive when we played.

Wow was I wrong!

I enjoy having subs assume various positions for me, particularly the first time we meet. It's fun for me to see them scramble to recall the positions and then get into that position quickly. Of course I have them do this naked. It's more entertaining that way.

One of my favorite positions is INSPECT which means the subby slut is standing, legs are lightly spread apart and his hands are folded behind his neck with his elbows spread wide. By this the body and especially the vulnerable chest are exposed and unprotected. I particularly enjoy the way a guy's arms look, the way the muscles curve and . . . mmmm . . . but I digress.

While a boy is in this position, I enjoy standing behind him and touching him however I want. Sometimes it's enough just to breathe on the back of his neck. Standing so close I can feel every shudder, hear every gasp, and for a sensual Dominant like me, that's all very very hot.

With dimples though, it was hilarious. He simply could not tolerate the touching and teasing and was immediately reduced to a whimpering, moaning pile of submissiveness. When he's turned on, he's super sensitive to touch. Any touch. So having him in the INSPECT position and letting my hands roam all over him was super fun. Oh he tried very hard not to flinch. He really was a trouper.

As the evening progressed, I found that his audible responses intensified. He whimpered and whined so much it reduced me to fits of giggles more than once. When I had him tied up spread eagle in my bed, even my soft kisses to his abs had him squealing so much I told him he was worse than a little girl.

I love all the sounds that boys make. The grunting, the gasping - all of the delicious sounds they emit when I play with them. I especially enjoy hearing them cum. Sometimes just hearing a boy cum for me is enough to make me cum. Sometimes.

I can't wait to make dimples squeal and whimper some more.

I've decided to blog

My online friend, Writer Dom, thinks I should blog, and I think perhaps he is right. I really do need an outlet to share all of my kinky hot thoughts. I twitter, but it's tough to get everything said in just a few characters. I'm quite verbose.

My two BFF's are pretty open minded, and I have two other friends that are open minded, but other than that, I don't really have kinky friends in my vanilla life. One of my goals is to meet more kinky people, but until then, I'm mostly going to have to share my kinky words and deeds with you over the internet. Lucky you!

Friday, May 1, 2009

My boy, cumboy

D/s relationship status: online submissive

Relationship status: friend

cumboy has been an online sub for me for months. We're very good friends and talk just about every day. cumboy is in his early 30's, lives in the Southwest, dreams of forced bi and loves eating his cum for me.

Read blogs about cumboy

My boy, my pet

D/s relationship status: former online submissive

Relationship status: friend

My pet began submitting to me online since November of 2008. He's in his early 30's, lives in Southern California and enjoyed being on cam for me to relish his perfect body.

Read blogs about my pet

My boy, dimples

D/s relationship status: formerly being considered for submission

Relationship status: formerly dated

dimples is lived in Vegas for only a few short months in the spring and summer of 2009. We kind of dated casually. I enjoyed how responsive dimples was when he submitted and relished every whimper, moan and squeal. He's in his early 30's and has an amazing personality (and that's NOT code for him not being attractive because he is super cute).

My boy, pk

D/s relationship status: former submissive, play pal

Relationship status: formerly sort of (but not really) dated, currently friends

In case you were wondering, pk stands for Possible Keeper, which is what I originally thought of this great guy in his early 40's. We have perfectly matched kinks and vanilla interests but alas, it seems a long term relationship is not an option for us. pk is an amazing guy that I've had a lot of fun with and hope to continue being friends with.

Read blogs about pk

My boy, my Dom friend

D/s relationship status: submissive, formerly occasional playmate

Relationship status: friend

My Dom friend has been tying up girls for more than 30 years and decided he wanted to try the other side of the flogger, so to speak. He mentors me and we've grown to be quite close friends. He also offers himself up for me to use as I explore my inner sadist. He enjoys bondage, impact play and some pretty extreme CBT.

My boy, 1keptman

D/s relationship status: submissive, occasional online playmate

Relationship status: friend

1keptman submits to his wife, a powerful executive, and is basically a kept man. We met through Literotica where he contacted me because he noted through my posts we have similar interests. He lives in the Northwest and I'm looking forward to playing with him and his wife when they visit Vegas sometime.

Follow 1keptman on Twitter!

My boy, my FMT

D/s relationship status: none
Relationship status: dating with an open relationship

My favorite massage therapist (FMT) and I dated off and on from January to August of 2009. We didn't seen each other on a regular basis but had amazing chemistry and a lot of fun when we were together. In October of 2009 we decided to become friends with benefits. That evolved into an open relationship until we broke up again at the end of January of 2010. In June of 2010 we began seeing each other again and in November of 2010, we became platonic roommates. In June of 2013, we reconnected and began seeing each other again.

Although at one point he self identified as a Dom, he could be better described as kinky with Dom tendencies. He's in his late thirties and lives here in Las Vegas where he's working as a marriage and family therapist.

Read blogs about my FMT

My boy, puppy

D/s relationship status: submissive, formerly an occasional online playmate

Relationship status: friend

puppy is in his early 30's lives in the Northeast but travels on occasion to Vegas. We haven't met in person yet but have become quite close friends. Although puppy would love to submit to me and we've played online some, we've remained friends.

My boy, 6

D/s relationship status: former submissive, currently play partners

Relationship status: never dated

6 was my very first submissive. He's a long time Dom who decided he wanted to be submissive to one woman and chose me. It was 6 who first recognized I was Dominant. 6 and I have remained in touch and periodically reunite to play. He still submits to me but we're moving towards a more vanilla relationship dynamic with each other while collaborating on domming.

Read about how 6 came to be called 6.
Read blogs about 6.