We did it and he wrote about it. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to do it with my girlfriend, Elle, two weeks ago. It was SO HOT I decided to write about it too.
So what is this Nuru lube? What makes it so awesome that three sex bloggers feel compelled to write about it IN ALL CAPS?
IT IS JUST FUCKING AMAZING!!!
|Ingredients for a slippery good time.|
Imagine the slipperiest thing imaginable. It's like that only slicker. And sexier. You're going to use your entire body, covered in this sensational stuff, to give your partner(s) a full body massage. It's like the best, most sensually naughty Slip N Slide ever.
You'll gasp, you'll moan, you'll giggle and make sloppy sloshy noises as you touch and are touched. Every movement becomes a sensual event.
Unlike other lubes and lotions, because Nuru is tasteless and odorless, you'll be able to lick and kiss all your little heart desires. And if you like putting fingers and insertable toys (or even fists) in naughty places, you're going to LOVE it so much you'll be WRITING IN ALL CAPS TOO.
Now I typically don't give commands in my posts but this one you're going to want to obey. Trust me. DO THIS:
- Buy Nuru Gel. I got mine from Amazon - 33.8 oz. for $55. Yes, I said 33.8 oz. I know that's a lotta lube. It's enough for two sessions, three maybe if you wanted to skimp but you shouldn't so just don't. Just order the whole bottle. Trust me when I say you'll want to do it again and you'll want to do it exactly the way I'm telling you to do it now.
- Get an air mattress. I used a queen sized one I already had it on hand for guests and whenever I inflate it for weekend visitors in the future, I'll smile and have naughty memories of it being used for far higher purposes.
- Buy a waterproof, zippered mattress protector. This will make clean up quick and easy. Mine was $12.99 from Target. I can toss it in the wash and reuse it.
- Have a measuring cup, mixing bowl, towels and water bottle on hand. A water bottle that squirts is perfect. If you're a squirter, even better, but you'll still want the water bottle.
- Pick a partner. Or two. Hell, Dr. Dom / Mr. Subby is talking about having a Nuru lube party. I think that's a grand idea! And after you do this, you'll be begging for an invitation.
- Pick a location. If you have a fireplace, you'll want to do it right beside it. Not only is it romantic, it's WARM and being warm is important.
So now you've got everything on hand. It's time to prep.
The prepping probably seemed more time consuming than it really is, mostly because I was so excited to do this both times. But don't worry, I'm here to walk you through it.
- Turn up the heat to about 80 degrees. While you may be a bit hot as you finish prepping, you're about to be naked and wet and you're going to want it warm.
- Fill up your sink with hot water and submerge the bottle of lube in it.
- Blow up your air mattress.
- Put the air mattress cover on it.
- Start a fire if you have a fireplace.
- Put your towels by the fire.
- Tip your air mattress at an angle against the fireplace so that the surface can begin to warm.
- Mix the lube. DO NOT FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BOTTLE. You'll want to follow Kendra's instructions because it is absolute perfection!
- Pour about 2 cups of lube into the mixing bowl.
- Add 1/2 cup of water.
- Mix it up with your hand.
- Savor the slickness, get all excited and hard/wet about what you're about to do.
- Fill up your spray bottle with really hot water.You'll want to use this later when things start to get a little sticky to get things slick and wet again.
- Put your bowl of lube and water bottle in front of the fire.
- Grab your partner(s) and jump in the shower. You'll just need a quick rinse. The idea is just to get wet. On the outside. If you're a woman, you're probably already wet on the inside.
- Without drying off, lay your partner on the air mattress on the floor.
- Grab the warm lube and gently pour it (or scoop a few handfuls) onto their chest.
I've done this twice now. The first time was amazing because it was ... well ... my first time. The second time was amazing because I got to watch Elle enjoy it for the first time. Of course I was saying, "Isn't this the best thing EVER?" every 30 seconds. It was just so awesome. And there's a certainly to be said for doing this with another soft, delicious woman. But both times were notable, to be sure.
So consider this a warning. This is not one of those things you'll do once. You'll want to do it over and over again. You'll be glad I talked you into buying the big bottle.
And you'll want to tell everyone you know about it. It's just one of those things you'll want everyone you know to experience. You'll want to shout it from the rooftops or, at the very least, write about it in ALL CAPS!