Sunday, June 28, 2009
When Goddess Selena mentioned the NawaYoi Rope Bondage Class and Rope Social, I knew immediately that this was something I wanted to attend. I also mentioned it in passing to one of my BFFs and was somewhat surprised that she also wanted to attend. Then our other BFF jumped onboard and suddenly I was attending a BDSM event with my two vanilla BFFs.
There was some discussion about who wanted to tie up and who wanted to be tied up. They both quickly decided to bottom and I had great fun tying up both of them.
During the social, there were a few little competitions. Thanks my braided wrist to ankle cuffs and the flexibility of one of my BFFs, I was able to execute a hogtie in a matter of seconds and won a cane and some lube - woo hoo! In another challenge, I had to use rope to secure a large dildo (with balls) to her knee winning a rather large dilo (watch out boys!). And my other BFF's soft curves were accentuated most deliciously by the rope as I tied her hands in various positions using a harness as the main securing point.
No, it wasn't nearly as erotic as tying up a boy. I mean, they are my BFFs after all! But being able to practice on them was wonderful. I felt zero pressure to perform and zero discomfort at having to being in rather intimately close proximity. I knew they would give me honest feedback and clearly from the look of delight on their faces, they actually enjoyed being tied up. One of them was particularly fascinated with the imprints the rope left on her skin.
It fun for me to have them step into my little world for an afternoon. Grant it, it's a world that is still very new to me, but it was still nice to be able to share it with them.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Cumboy was hard and dripping from the humiliation of looking for cock. To quote cumboy, "This is certainly humiliating but my hard cock does not lie."
Having to edge while pleading with the imaginary cock owner was the icing on the cake.
Well actually there wasn't any icing until today because I didn't let him cum until today. ;)
Today cumboy completed the final phase of the assignment. He was to find another worthy cock on Craigslist, print out a picture of the cock, masturbate on his knees WHILE talking out loud to the cock's owner, cum on the photo of the cock, take a picture of his cum all over the photo of the cock, then email the cock's owner and tell him what he'd done and why.
To the right you'll see the photo of the cock I chose along with the picture cumboy took after he got his nasty slut goo all over the print out of the photo. This is what he sent to the cock's owner along with the message below:
Hello Sir,And yes, of course I made cumboy lick his cum off the photo. :)
My name is cumboy and i am Mistress Lilyana's submissive slut. I want to explain to you why i sent you the photo i have attached. Mistress had asked to find a delicious cock to masturbate to while i talked out loud like a little cocksucker. I told your cock how much i liked to suck it and how much i wanted it to cum in my mouth and on my face like a whore would. She then thought it was only fair that i send the photo to the cocks owner.
I hope this flatters you,
Monday, June 22, 2009
Let me explain.
I don't have an issue with cross dressers. Hey, whatever gets you off, I'm ok with, as long as no one else gets hurt. Well, at least not get hurt in a way that they don't enjoy. ;)
Personally, I like men to look like men. The androgenous look isn't my thing.
However, I do enjoy a hot manly man wearing panties for me for a few reasons:
1) The contrast between the hard masculinity and soft feminine panties amuses me.
2) The fact that a man would humiliate himself for my amusement by wearing panties turns me on.
3) An erection just looks damn funny in pretty panties.
4) The fact that a man can get an erection just from wearing panties from me amuses me.
One morning last week, cumboy was headed out to do something manly - take care of car maintenance issues. Inspiration struck and I decided he should do so while wearing panties.
Cumboy is your all American guy. Even in his 30's, he still plays basketball, volleyball and golf regularly. In his professional life, he's a manager. He's very much the alpha male who enjoys drinking beer with the guys and grilling man food. Yet he's very much the submissive male behind closed doors.
I know that cumboy's threshold for erotic humiliation is fairly low. It's fairly easy to make him blush. I knew that this little panty assignment would give him an erection at the very least.
His excitement was evident in the picture he sent me just after slipping on his very first pair. His pronounced erection luridly pushed out the front of his red striped panties.
Cumboy later reported that wearing panties was very humiliating and it made him feel very submissive. Mmmm. Mission accomplished!
My pet wears panties for me regularly when we web cam. He's a triathlete who works out daily and keeps his body in perfect shape. And I have to tell you, even in pink sheer thongs, he is still a very delicious man.
The first few times my pet wore panties for me, his hands trembled with nervousness, yet his cock was hard and dripping.
Hard and dripping is how I like my cocks. If I can achieve this AND be amused, just from having my boys wear panties, I'm pretty sure there is more panty wearing in all their futures.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
What do dominant women want?
I’ve heard this question a lot, on blogs, in email, and even over drinks. I’ve tried to answer it, and time and time again felt that my answers were too vague or too personal, so I’m trying something new. I recently started playing with someone new, and noticed that he did some things very right from the start. Thinking back, a number of my partners have hit these points right on. So what do dominant women want? Well in the interest of not being too vague, I’m going to go through those points one by one with specific examples. In the interest of not being too personal, I’ve invited my friend Ironrose to collaborate on this post, and I invite my readers to comment.
As a disclaimer, this is not a comprehensive list of what all dominant women want. It is impossible to make a comprehensive list of what all women want, or what any other statistically significant portion of the human race wants. However, this is a starting point that illustrates some themes that might apply to a few dominant women. We’re also using male pronouns because most questions I get on this topic are from men, and because I am using a man as my primary data point. The list probably applies mostly in America, and possibly only on the coasts, and maybe even only to educated, geeky, 20-something, queer-identified dominant women. This is why we welcome reader feedback and peer review!
- The small stuff does matter.
It tells me that he is attracted to me because I’m me, not just any dominant woman. It adds a personal touch to our interactions. I like how he pays attention to my personal foibles, such as demanding to be called Doctor or Ma’am instead of Mistress, or that I really like my boots licked. Or the fact that I like tea, and how I like it served.
- He makes it clear how important I am to him.
He makes room in his schedule for me. He does little things to show me that he’s been thinking about me when we aren’t together, like writing me letters or buying me little gifts. He makes me feel like he wants me by what he says, and how he acts. At the same time, he doesn’t assume that this somehow gives him a right to my time, energy, desire, or body.
- I don’t have to wonder if he wants to be here.
He says please, and thank you. He is clear and honest on his boundaries. He says no, or otherwise expresses his limits. “Well, I’m happy to go shopping with you but I need to leave at 4pm,” or “I am happy to be beaten but I don’t want to do CBT play right now.” He does not pretend he does not have limits.
- He does not confuse the fantasy of submission with the reality of submission.
He has a life, a career, friends, and hobbies. He is a person, with a personality outside of being a submissive. Kink is not the only thing we bond over. We can relate as equals and friends when we are not in a scene. (24/7 is a possibility, but it should not be the norm when I first start playing with someone.) We have things in common outside the dungeon. We can have a conversation, we can go to a concert, and we have friends in common.
- When he serves me he actually serves me rather than his own fantasies.
If he runs errands for me, he does it right, and to the best of his abilities. He doesn’t offer to run errands for me just to get my attention, and he doesn’t mess up on purpose to make me “punish” him. He’s good at what he does, especially when what he’s doing is meant to please me. He also doesn’t use this as a bargaining chip, or as an opportunity to barter for sex.
- I am not his dirty little secret.
Kink is not his dirty little secret. He should not be ashamed of his submission. I can respect the fact that he may not want to acknowledge his kink or submission in every situation, but I cannot play with someone who thinks our relationship is something wrong, shameful, or terrible. If he treats his desires for kink as wrong or shameful, what does he think of my desires for the same thing?
- He understands that I have many facets.
He does not suddenly lose the ability to bottom to me because I bottomed to someone else. He doesn’t assume that because I did something with someone else I will do it with him. He understands that I have many hobbies, academic interests, and kinks, and he respects that he is part of my life, but not the sum total of my life. It helps if we met at a vanilla social function, and not at a munch, or on collarme.com, or in a dungeon. Meeting through mutual friends suggests that we have common interests outside of kink and submission.
- His submission is personally meaningful.
He does not think that being a submissive means being someone other than who he is. Just as I want to be seen as a person and not as a generic Dominant Woman, I want his submission to reflect how he is a person, and not some generic Submissive Man. I want him to submit, not some cardboard cutout of a person. I want the submission to be personally meaningful, not just a rote framework copied from porn.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I immediately asked if he planned to share naked pictures of himself. Some male subs apparently think the way to endear themselves to a Domme is to show what they've got (or what they've barely got, as is often the case). Although this can sometimes be amusing for me, when I first begin talking to a prospective sub, I'm more interested in getting to know them, not seeing their goods.
This boy indicated that he planned to share lingerie pictures. We hadn't been talking for even 60 seconds and he was ready to show me pictures of himself in girly lingerie.
I'm not sure how other Dommes would handle this situation, but my immediate thought was "Ew."
I have two problems with this and neither have to do with the fact that he wears lingerie.
The first problem is that he was so clearly so eager to show these pics to me. He couldn't start photo share quick enough. And when I said I didn't want to see them, he closed photo share without sharing vanilla pictures of himself.
This says to me he's an exhibitionist. Sure, exhibitionism is a kink all its own and I am definitely pro-kink, but my problem is that if he actually ENJOYS being put on public display, it's one less thing I can use for erotic humiliation.
The second problem is that he enjoys cross dressing. Again, it's another kink, I know, but if he enjoys dressing like a girl, I can't humiliate him with this kind of humiliation.
And I really enjoy erotic humiliation.
This poor guy was stunned when I politely ended our very brief conversation by telling him I was not interested and wishing him luck in finding someone. He just couldn't understand it.
I kindly explained to him how his kinks were perfectly acceptable, they just weren't something I was interested in because it reduces the opportunity I have to use feminization and erotic humiliation with him. It's like taking away two of my favorite toys before we even get to play with them.
And Mistress doesn't like having her toys taken away. ;)
Monday, June 15, 2009
But what I really want, what I really crave, is just one that I can see regularly.
One perfectly kinky boy that looks hot on his knees, tied up with black rope or in jeans and a T-shirt across the booth from me eating pizza.
One that's maybe a little mouthy in our vanilla life, but in a fun way. One that submits silently and speaks only when spoken. One whose moans and whimpers make me wet.
One who is intelligent enough to at least keep up, preferably one who challenges me. One who grovels eloquently behind closed doors.
I suppose this is the challenge that unattached men and women everywhere face - finding someone who meets all of their criteria. But as a Dominant, I can't help but think that things are so much harder, perhaps twice as hard, because there are so many criteria. Twice as many perhaps?
Oh well. Perhaps I could settle for just two perfectly kinky boys. ;)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I have a series of positions, some based on traditional slave positions and commands, that I make a sub memorize. Then I give them the commands and make them assume the positions quickly. If they don't do it right, they are punished. Some of the positions are designed to feminize and are super amusing for me. Message me directly with your email address and I can send them to you if you'd like.Because I've had quite a few requests for these, I've decided to post them here.
The following positions are based on the traditional slave positions used in the BDSM community with a couple of additional positions I particularly enjoy. You should commit these to memory, practice them and be prepared to assume any of these positions upon demand.
INSPECT-- Stand at attention, legs spread a shoulder width apart, hands clasped behind your head, right over left, back slightly arched to accentuates the chest and genitals. Eyes should be lowered with your chin up. In this position you should be fully accessible so that any part may be inspected at close range or touched.
PRESENT -- Bend over, spread the cheeks of your ass with your hands exposing your anus to me.
INSTRUCT-- Kneel, knees spread, sitting back on your heels, left wrist grasped by right wrist. Eyes should be on me with your chin up.
WAIT -- Stand, hands behind your back, left wrist grasped by right wrist. Eyes should be lowered with your chin up.
WAIT KNEEL -- Kneel, knees spread, sitting back on your heels, left wrist grasped by right wrist. Eyes should be lowered with your chin up.
CORPORAL-- First assume the WAIT position, though with arms crossed in front. Then lean forward and grabs your ankles bringing your head as close to knees as possible and offering back and buttocks to me.
PRETTY FEET—Standing with your right leg positioned at 2:00, place the heel of your left foot in the inside arch of the right foot with your knee slightly bent, pelvis forward, shoulders back and your left hand placed gracefully on your hip.
TIPPY TOES -- Stand, shoulders back, balancing on the balls of your feet. Eyes should be lowered with your chin down.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
There are few things I love more than my naughty piercing.
For those of you who don't know, I have a vertical clit hood piercing. Basically, it's the same curved barbell used in belly button piercings pierced through the hood of my clit so that the jewelry lays on top of my clit all of the time.
Barely a year ago, I could pretty much only cum when I was on top. This was before I realized I was really Dominant, though it should have been a clue. Having things my way, at my speed, in just the position I like them has always been my preference.
But I digress.
Anyway, about a year ago I was seeing a delicious woman, a professional photographer. One evening she was talking about how she's always wanted to do a macro photography book about clits. A coffee table book with page and after page of clits.
I told her I thought is was a great idea and she asked me if I'd let her shoot mine. I'm VERY conservative with pictures of my naughty bits so she was surprised when I agreed.
This made reminded me of my long time interest in having my hoo hoo pierced.
“Yeah, I've always wanted to have my clit pierced.”
Her jaw almost hit the floor.
If you know Mistress Lilyana, all you know is naughtiness. But Lilyana, just plain old Lilyana, she's a conservative woman who drives an SUV and collects bunnies. Yes, bunnies, figurines and things, not Playboy bunnies. And I wear sweater sets. If I had pearls, I'd probably wear them too.
So when Lilyana the sweater set wearer announced she'd like to get her clit pierced to her not so conservative bisexual lover, said lover was ready to take Lilyana and have her pierced that evening.
Hey, we live in Vegas. You can get pierced at any hour.
A few days later, we both had the hoods of our clits pierced at a place appropriately called Precious Slut. A few days after, our piercings were mostly healed and we were test driving them.
Having the hood of my clit pierced was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made. It made a HUGE impact on how orgasmic I am. HUGE. Before my piercing, I MIGHT have cum without being on top a half dozen times. And I was tickled if I could cum even once during sex. Now cumming 10 times in one session is EASY (as long as may partner knows what they are doing). 20 times is not unattainable. Multiples used to be something I thought impossible but are now frequent for me. Hell, even masturbation is WAY easier now. It makes me feel SOOOO naughty just having it.
Ladies – Do yourself a favor and consider having your clit hoods pierced. It wasn't terribly painful to have done because the skin pierced is very thin, it heals very quickly (2 weeks max) and it makes you more orgasmic, or at least it did me! If you have any questions, check out BMEzine.com or email me.
Monday, June 1, 2009
But when it comes right down to it, it's ALWAYS going to be my call on how a scene is going to go down.
If a male sub wants to get on my nerves, he can do it easily by being pushy with his own fantasies. "I want to be tied like this and blindfolded and you could say . . ." Blah blah blah that is what it translates into for me sometimes when I hear too many details.
It's enough just to tell me, "I want to be restrained and taken like a little whore." That, I can do. I don't need a step by step guide on how to do it.
And I can for damn sure make it even better than your fantasy.