"I trust you and your judgement. And you know what I'm ready for and not ready for."
"I do but I LOVE hearing you say that."
"I will do whatever you want."
I marvel at how safe Hando feels with me and how much he trusts me when he knows exactly what I'm capable of.
He's read my blog. He's read the story the girl wrote about an incredibly brutal scene I did with her - one too intense to post here.
He's seen me deny my pet object. He's even commented on my meanness.
And although I am usually capable of holding back my RAWR, he's seen me slip into the primal Domme headspace for a few moments.
It's a place I try not to go with him. He's still so new and I feel more certain than he is that he's not ready for me to let my primal instincts free. He's not ready for the biting, spitting, face slapping let alone the stream of verbal humiliation that seems to flow from my mouth when I really cut loose.
He knows what I'm capable of. He knows I could focus my brutality on him. In the best case scenario, he knows I could put him into a scene that pushes his limits in an uncomfortable way.
And yet he completely trusts me.
Am I worthy of that trust? With each deep breath I take as I fight not to sink deeper into the primal side of my Dommeness when I play with him, with each time I elect not to give voice to the naughty things in my head, as I continue to trust the instincts that have never let me wrong, I know that I am worthy of the trust.
And yet I'm still amazed that he so completely trusts me. It's the ultimate compliment.