I enjoy sharing and I'm discovering I enjoy watching. Not random voyeurism though. I've pinpointed the hotness being wrapped up in the fact that I have some kind of connection with one or more of the people I'm watching. It's my new favorite thing.
Anyway, I was telling 6 about how much I enjoyed watching him, how much I enjoyed when our eyes met and I could see how much he was enjoying who I was sharing with him. I cited specific moments that were incredibly hot for me. My hottest moments. And then I asked him, "What was the hottest part for you?"
Without hesitation he responded, "Performing in front of you."
Instantly, I was back in Top space.
According to B.E.S.T slave training:
Top-space is a state of erotically altered consciousness (EAC) achieved during a scene by the dominant or top. It is characterized by feelings of intense focus, clarity of thought, a sense of extreme power or high energy, and/or exhilaration. Feelings of distance and objectivity, as if one where commanding from a mountaintop, may paradoxically accompany feelings of connection to the submissive, as if there were a psychic link.
Top space is a phenomenon I'd read about since I first started researching the lifestyle but couldn't exactly say I'd experienced outside of a scene until recently. I wrote about how it feels in session in "Having the whole world at my feet." But there is a certain euphoria I'm learning I can experience without actually being in the middle of a scene.
Ok maybe THAT is my new favorite thing. An incredible drug.
As I wrote "Peeing on nodder," I found myself in Top space. And I marveled at the fact that just writing about it brought on the euphoria.
I have to assume my sensitivity to what I'm feeling is growing as my experience in BDSM increases. Or maybe I'm just learning how to harness all that hotness in different ways.