"Oh yeah?" nodder asked.
I tossed "his" panties on the bed.
"I don't need those," nodder said.
"Yes you do. Put them on." Nodder isn't into cross dressing but he is a whore for humiliation and has a love/hate relationship with his polka dot beribboned panties.
He picked them up and tossed them across the bed. "No thanks."
"No?" I was incredulous. Nodder doesn't tell me no. Not when it comes to play. "What do you mean, NO?"
"I mean, I'm not going to put on panties."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not. You don't really want me to anyway."
I laughed. "YES, I really do."
"No, you really don't. You just think that that's what I want you to make me do right now but that's not what you really want," he explained. And then he leaned over and kissed me and all thoughts left my head except one: he might be right.
I tried to insist he put on the panties anyway, to reestablish control of the situation. He called me out on it. "That's not really what you want right now. I can tell. Come on now, I've known you for 11 months and I know what you want."
And then I did something I almost never do. I blushed.
The rest of the evening unfolded in a way that proved him right. As much as I enjoy control and his reactions when I dominate him, it wasn't a scene I wanted. I wanted to connect without D/s.
Actually, I supposed that isn't true. As I write this I am realizing that nodder's defiance could be viewed as service to me. After all, he was serving my true desires. Even when I didn't know them yet.