Thursday, October 28, 2010


For those of you who may not know, edging is bringing someone up to the point they're ready to cum but not letting them orgasm. If you've been reading my blog a while, you know it's one of my favorite ways to exert control.

Edging a guy has become somewhat second nature to me, even when that guy is not submissive. I did it with 9 and I do it with my FMT. Both enjoyed it. Only my FMT admits it easily though. It's probably because he's not all wound up in the Dom mind set.

My FMT is what I call pseudo vanilla. He's kinky by vanilla standards but not lifestyle D/s. That's not to say he doesn't understand the lifestyle though. He had a pretty fair grasp on the subject before we met almost two years ago and has picked up a few things just from being around me.

He "gets it" but enjoys joking like he does not. He tries, on occasion, to give me a taste of what I do to subs. "I want you to feel what it is that you do your poor subs." Yes, he considers himself some kind of advocate for all male subs as if it's his job to right all the wrongs against them. And it never fails to get a rise out of me. No one could ever say my FMT doesn't know precisely how to push my buttons.

Earlier this week we were enjoying the benefits of our friends with benefits relationship when he suddenly switched gears on me. This man who seems to live to see me orgasm suddenly stopped mid thrust just as I was about to cum.

Right at the edge.

"What the fuck?!?!"

"What?" he smiled as he started fucking me again.

"You just ..." I lost my train of thought as my orgasm immediately began to build again. I heard him moan a little and knew it was in response to me tightening around him. I was ready to cum.

And then he stopped.

"Oh my God. Really??? Seriously??" I playfully smacked his face.

"Really?? Really??" he mimicked, then snickered.

"You can't do that."

"Do what?"

"You can't just stop like that?"

"Like what?"

"You can't just stop fucking me like that!!"

He laughed. "Oh can't I? Why not?"

"Because you can't!!"

"Oh yeah? Isn't that what you call edging? Hmmm? Yeah?"

"Yes but ..."

"See? See what it's like?"

"No, I don't like it!"

"Well, that's what it's like when you do it to guys! It's not very much fun, is it? IS IT?"

At this point I'm laughing. Here is this vanilla guy, the biggest proponent of edging I've seen from a guy who doesn't submit, trying to "teach me a lesson" about how terrible edging is.

Here's the thing. I really did hate it.

Now like any woman, I enjoy a certain amount of teasing, during foreplay especially.

Teasing, yes. Edging, no.

Hell fucking no.


  1. interesting. there is a very different perspective regarding edging between a submissive and a domme, as would be expected.
    i find required edging to be frustrating, but at the same time i love how it binds my attention and my actions to the wants and needs of my Mistress. Mistress Akasha is using this technique even now in Her on line training. eventually She plans to use my pent up need to enslave me further through a chastity device. i realize all of this, but of course i cannot resist it. i think that is fascinating - using a submissive's desires to further enslave him and deny those those needs. and leave him wanting even more...

  2. This made me laugh!

    But I wonder if this experience really -did- teach you a lesson? Or, has it only affirmed your use of the technique to dominate your subs?

  3. I wonder what aspect of the edging you disliked the most. Was it the physical frustration of not being able to complete the orgasm or was it the mental aspect of the lack of control?

  4. Dear Mistress Lilyana,

    And yet, the fact that you know first hand how horribly frustrating it is will likely have you enjoy it that much more when you do it to those who submit to you.

    Likely, FMT has made things worse for submissives that will cross paths with you. Nothing motivates a sadist like wanting payback, even if it's not directed to the same person.

    Great post!

    Owned & collared by Goddess Selena

  5. @Jamie - I think you summed up edging quite nicely with "using a submissive's desires to further enslave him and deny those those needs. and leave him wanting even more..."

    @Lilith Pane - I think this only affirmed to me that I am defintely on the right side of the flogger, so to speak. I would be a terrible sub!

    @Married Sub - I think it was the mental aspect of lack of control. I'm so used to cumming whenever I want.

    @Dymnion - I'm not big into taking out my frustrations with one person out on another. I'm more of a make sure the punishment fits the crime kind of girl. The problem with that in this scenario is that my FMT enjoys edging. LOL!

  6. This made me lol. I think I'm going to go home and do the same to my girl tonight... >:)

    Found you through the "100 top sex boogers thing" Love the blog, looking forward to reading more.

  7. i loved Your post. Actually, i have always enjoyed doing this with my Wife. She doesn't like multiple orgasms (don't know why but She doesn't) so i do this just to extend the evenings sometimes. i was smiling as i read Your post because i have had this conversation with girlfriends all the way back to college. While frustrating, You might admit that it is fun to play every once in a while. ;) And, honest to good, the code that i needed to enter to publish this post was "nocomer"...unbelievable!

  8. I find "edging" an interesting subject. I practice tantra, and so I actually "edge" all the time. The thing that happens if you do some tantra and play with your orgasm response long enough, you can experience really amazing full body orgasms without actually ejaculating. Of course, this is kind of a big deal if you're a guy, but less so if you're a woman who can already experience multiple orgasms. The odd thing though is that it sort of takes "edging" off the table for me as far as play goes, since it doesn't feel at all uncomfortable or unusual for me to come right to the edge of release and back off... It totally gets me off actually.