Friday, October 15, 2010

Poly by permission

I’m poly. This is no secret to the boys I see, vanilla or kinky. It can’t be. It’s a part of who I am.

When I began seeing my sub almost two months ago, we discussed polyamory. He’d been a live-in submissive to a married Domme whose husband was a Dom and also had a live in sub, so he’d experienced poly. However, he’d never been allowed to see anyone but her, never experienced how it is to maintain multiple relationships himself.

As a Dominant, I realize I’m perfectly within my rights to ensure my sub doesn’t see anyone else while they are with me. What’s good for the goose doesn’t necessarily apply to the gander.

But I’m also fair.

Early in our relationship I let him know I’d be open to allowing him to date but that he’d need to ask first.

“So let me get this straight. You’re poly and I’m poly by permission.”

I laughed and said yes.

So yesterday the subject arose and he asked permission to date. He is seeing me date other guys and wants to experience polyamory himself.

My first instinct was to react with "MINE MINE MINE" like a child who has been asked to share her toys. I can't help it. But after a little discussion, my reasoning prevailed and I agreed. However, I advised him there would be parameters.

Of course he’s going to have rules.

  1. You may spend no more than 30 minutes a day on dating websites corresponding with and screening potential dates.
  2. An hour or less before any date, you must masturbate, cum and consume your cum. Unless you are in chastity at the time or doing a special assignment for me, assume you have permission to cum in this scenario so you don’t need to ask. However, you should text me and let me know you’ve done it.
  3. No kissing on the first date.
  4. You must wear panties on your first 3 dates.
  5. Text or call me after each date. I don’t expect a report unless I ask but I want to know you’re home safe.
  6. I own your orgasm. If you plan to have sex, you must ask permission.
  7. Ensure she’s clean. ASK.
  8. Use protection during sex.
  9. You can’t take anyone on nicer dates than you take me.
  10. You may not submit to anyone else.
  11. She may not leave any visible marks on you.
  12. You should keep me updated as things progress so that we can decide when it is appropriate for her to learn about your lifestyle and me.
  13. I am your number one priority. I get first dibs on your time.
The idea of the rules isn't to make dating difficult for him, though reading over the rules one might assume that's the case.

Hey, if I'm going to share my toys, it's going to be on my terms.


  1. It seems to me that any guy in your life would have to be rather exceptional and that being the case, he would be able to discern that improving upon you would be incredibly difficult - thus, one wonders why H/he would want to see anyone else.....


  2. mistress i agree with your rules