Trust me when I say there are a lot of married men who are submissive and their wives have no clue. I know because invariably, they find me, and other Dommes I'm sure, and want a woman to dominate them. A woman who is not their wife.
At first I was very sympathetic. Poor guy got trapped in a marriage with someone who doesn't understand his special needs.
That's bullshit. Almost without exception the married men I've come across knew they were submissive before they married. They knew they craved the dominance of a woman and they chose someone who couldn't give it to them.
Or did they?
I have recently changed my theory on this subject. I now think that if a submissive man picked a woman to marry, she's probably got Dominant characteristics even if she's unaware of it.
And it's my theory that if a woman has Dominant characteristics and someone who will nurture and celebrate that within her, she just might evolve into a Domme with a bit of assistance.
So let's say you're a submissive male in a vanilla marriage. What do you do?
In an ideal world, you'd be able to sit down and rationally explain your kinky desires.
Does anyone live in an ideal world?
My fall back suggestion has always been to slowly introduce the wife to femdom porn. Not the forced bi, strap-on play or even extreme humiliation femdom porn you probably enjoy, not initially anyway. Perhaps you could ramp up to that, but some mild femdom porn could be a conversation starter for you anyway. "Honey that was really hot. Do you think you'd enjoy telling me what to do in bed sometime?"
Now I have a new suggestion - one that will make you her slave for a day or a weekend. If you play it right, maybe you could even turn it into a permanent gig.
Make a bet with your wife. Sports, weather related, whatever. Just make sure it's something you're sure to lose. The loser of this bet would then be required to serve as the other's slave for a designated period of time. A day. A weekend.
I'm guessing a vanilla woman with a slave at her disposal is immediately going to come up with house chores and maintenance for her new slave. And being the submissive male that you are, you'll probably even enjoy it.
But you can take it further. Ask her what you should wear while you do these chores for her. Be a good pet and thank her for your assignments. Kneel at her feet whenever you can. Offer to massage her, bring her favorite beverage to her while she relaxes without being asked. Basically, offer her a taste of what it's like to be in charge and be treated like the goddess she surely is.
If she has even a smidge of dominance in her, she'll adore being adored and served. You may even gradually be able to work in more sensual service activities. If nothing else, after the designated period of service you can let her know how much you enjoyed serving her and doing as she desired. Perhaps you can even suggest that you'd enjoy being told what to do to please her in bed.
You might not be able to fully cultivate the Domme within and establish a 24/7 relationship, but perhaps you could at the very least help her harness her feminine power in the bedroom.